34 thoughts on “10,000 negative pieces of feedback for ADHD people #adhd #adhdbrain #neurodivergent”
You are so true about this. That's how I felt when I was growing up because I wasn't diagnosed at the time. So you build in your mind that you're not a functional person, and that you are worthless. It wasn't till I went to therapy that I could understand how my brain works and what to do about it.
By the time I finished high school I had a pretty bleak sense of self worth and coped by just becoming a nihilist. Whenever someone says " How could you possible forget that?" or "How hard is it to just do it right?" I respond with "in 100 years we'll both be dead and forgotten, so how important is it that I left that plate on the counter?"
Bought your book the day I was diagnosed and read it the next day with my partner. It was just lovely. He could ask me questions about the things we read, see which of the bits I really struggle with and which parts I've learned to cope with. It was such a nice moment.
I have a bad habbit and this is from childhood too, but I buy to make stuff for so called friends that don't end up lasting, to keep them of side, like buying there friendship and to make up for the hassle I feel I put them through. like just the other day I went to make a mince tart for a neighbour and had two meltdowns and burnouts over it cause things went wrong and I forgot I'd left it in the over. To the point that my mum had to finish it for me. Was it worth my stress and my mums, prob not but I find myself doing it all the time. Friends never last long either way.
I know it doesn’t really matter, but I overdosed this month due to the complete lack of anything good in my life. It’s literally a dumpster fire. Then I came across your channel. I’ve never felt so understood in my life. I’ve spent 25 years (since I was 15) on my own. I’ve never been understood, let alone loved for being neurodivergent. Even in my 40s people still treat me quite negatively. I wonder if anyone will accept me for me. As much as I doubt it, seeing your videos makes me feel not alone and that in itself is priceless. So thank you. Thank you so much. ❤
100%. I have a friend who has recently started being more and more judgmental. I feel like I’m being judged for darn near everything I do. I posted on another channel that it makes me want to isolate. It’s so hard when people who get to know, you will even treat you like something is wrong with you because you don’t conform to the east think is “right”. It’s very lonely.
Yes, I’ve been told that I’m annoying, that I need to focus, I’m doing something “Wrong” such as peeling, a tomato, etc. etc. It’s exhausting also. But you know that. Thank you so much for this channel. I’m so tired of feeling wrong deficient and broken.
It’s not just criticism from early years that does this—I believe it also applies to people whose ADHD (and possibly other neurodivergent traits) didn’t truly surface until they were older. Some kids manage to fly under the radar for longer than others and, sadly, postpone a diagnosis that could help them. If anyone receives a steady stream of criticism and rejection at any time, it takes a toll.
All of the above. Not only did all that happen. I grew up in a war zone in our home. Drugs,alcohol and abuse of all sorts. Sexual abuse as well. It's a miracle I'm as sane as I am.
True words, Or as my 10 year old son say, "spittin' facts." I was OCD no trouble focusing my whole life, then I got pregnant. In my childhood I was praised and awarded due to my attention to detail and ability to accomplish anything. Then things really changed when I got pregnant. I told my therapist he had me all wrong when he said ADD and PTSD. 🤣😂 Yea, I did. He said, "oh? Do I?" Then it went off the rails out of control when I had my son. Now, I am constantly criticized and treated like I'm not good enough. A lot of times people don't realize they're doing it. I think when I was younger and I wasn't struggling with this I may have been guilty of it. Sometimes it's subtle and I'm only starting to realize this recently. I live in an area where it's hard to know where to go and talk to someone. It's very rural here. I really appreciate your videos.
My therapist told me recently I needed to be "nice to yourself". Your video gave me a completely different perspective on what she said. Besides the negative, intrusive thoughts I deal with daily, I'm working on becoming who I really am, not what society or my friends want me to be. Because, to me, being kind to myself was just allowing to be more forgiving to myself. I screw something up? It's ok, nothing serious, it can be fixed. I'm a perfectionist at heart, because of my ADHD, and so one of the things I've allowed myself is to have imperfections in my songs and recordings. If I allowed the perfectionist in me to take over, I'd still be working on recording my first song, whereas I've already recorded 2 and have 2 more I'm working on. I've switched my main instrument from guitar to bass, too, because it feels more natural. Before, I always took pride in being a "guitar player", but I never picked it up. Since starting my ADHD meds and letting go of expectations, I've played bass almost every day for at least 10 minutes, sometimes hours, and it feels amazing.
Thank you for your channel. It's like taking a look inside my self and seeing what I deal with through someone else, and knowing I'm not alone.
This video helped me understand why I'm so hard on myself, where it came from, and why I'm always trying to fix myself. Thank you, it really means a lot and brought me to tears! I will try to be kinder to myself
Love this, so true. Absolutely love yourself no matter what, if you're in bed all day, if your watching 'too much' YouTube, if your not following through with plans, if you don't feel enough….love yourself, no matter what xxx
for my entire school life i was gifted, talented, honors, magna cum laude, and had a lot of extracurriculars.. I got plenty of "constructive" criticism from my schooling and leaned on it as an escape from my negative home life (brother bullied me, mom was always sad/struggling from divorce). now I'm a civil engineer of 7 years and finally diagnosed adhd last year, but i am struggling to be on time lately due to physical impairments that affect my sleep. what information does anyone have about "overacheivers" who later in life get depression and anxiety when they aren't fulfilling the overachieving aspect or are struggling to even do simple daily routines?
Hi! Could you guys do a video explaining adhd meltdowns from an adhd AND neurotypical perspective (like, what it looks and feels like from both sides)?
What you said about living happily with your shoulders back really touched me. I was constantly told to put my shoulders back as a child. I see now that my poor posture was due to putting myself in a self-protecting position because I did feel defective and under attack. It has taken a lot of work to finally feel good about myself despite frustrating moments. Thank you.
I am always not happy with my work i am high permofer with every company that I work i overwork evwrybody now I have wifie an doughter and i slow down but Energy needed to achive that success is big and bow i pay for this my health
You are so true about this. That's how I felt when I was growing up because I wasn't diagnosed at the time. So you build in your mind that you're not a functional person, and that you are worthless. It wasn't till I went to therapy that I could understand how my brain works and what to do about it.
By the time I finished high school I had a pretty bleak sense of self worth and coped by just becoming a nihilist. Whenever someone says " How could you possible forget that?" or "How hard is it to just do it right?" I respond with "in 100 years we'll both be dead and forgotten, so how important is it that I left that plate on the counter?"
❤
Kinda wish this was a short so it would automatically loop around until I can get your message to internalize.
Bought your book the day I was diagnosed and read it the next day with my partner. It was just lovely. He could ask me questions about the things we read, see which of the bits I really struggle with and which parts I've learned to cope with. It was such a nice moment.
I have a bad habbit and this is from childhood too, but I buy to make stuff for so called friends that don't end up lasting, to keep them of side, like buying there friendship and to make up for the hassle I feel I put them through. like just the other day I went to make a mince tart for a neighbour and had two meltdowns and burnouts over it cause things went wrong and I forgot I'd left it in the over. To the point that my mum had to finish it for me. Was it worth my stress and my mums, prob not but I find myself doing it all the time. Friends never last long either way.
I love the honest emotion in your voice here. Can relate.
What study were those stats taken from and how reliable in your opinion was the data?
THANK YOU 💜
I know it doesn’t really matter, but I overdosed this month due to the complete lack of anything good in my life. It’s literally a dumpster fire. Then I came across your channel. I’ve never felt so understood in my life. I’ve spent 25 years (since I was 15) on my own. I’ve never been understood, let alone loved for being neurodivergent. Even in my 40s people still treat me quite negatively. I wonder if anyone will accept me for me. As much as I doubt it, seeing your videos makes me feel not alone and that in itself is priceless. So thank you. Thank you so much. ❤
100%. I have a friend who has recently started being more and more judgmental. I feel like I’m being judged for darn near everything I do. I posted on another channel that it makes me want to isolate. It’s so hard when people who get to know, you will even treat you like something is wrong with you because you don’t conform to the east think is “right”. It’s very lonely.
Yes, I’ve been told that I’m annoying, that I need to focus, I’m doing something “Wrong” such as peeling, a tomato, etc. etc. It’s exhausting also. But you know that. Thank you so much for this channel.
I’m so tired of feeling wrong deficient and broken.
Thanks for such an inspiring video 🥲
I'm 50. I was diagnosed yesterday. I am grieving for the punishment I have given myself for stuff that wasn't within my control
It’s not just criticism from early years that does this—I believe it also applies to people whose ADHD (and possibly other neurodivergent traits) didn’t truly surface until they were older. Some kids manage to fly under the radar for longer than others and, sadly, postpone a diagnosis that could help them. If anyone receives a steady stream of criticism and rejection at any time, it takes a toll.
Yes its always me & i dont understand y tbh 😢xx
All of the above. Not only did all that happen. I grew up in a war zone in our home. Drugs,alcohol and abuse of all sorts. Sexual abuse as well. It's a miracle I'm as sane as I am.
I don't feel safe being kinder to myself, if I let down my guard, someone else will kick me down. It hurts a lot more when you're not braced for it.
😭😭
True words, Or as my 10 year old son say, "spittin' facts." I was OCD no trouble focusing my whole life, then I got pregnant. In my childhood I was praised and awarded due to my attention to detail and ability to accomplish anything. Then things really changed when I got pregnant. I told my therapist he had me all wrong when he said ADD and PTSD. 🤣😂 Yea, I did. He said, "oh? Do I?" Then it went off the rails out of control when I had my son. Now, I am constantly criticized and treated like I'm not good enough. A lot of times people don't realize they're doing it. I think when I was younger and I wasn't struggling with this I may have been guilty of it. Sometimes it's subtle and I'm only starting to realize this recently. I live in an area where it's hard to know where to go and talk to someone. It's very rural here. I really appreciate your videos.
My therapist told me recently I needed to be "nice to yourself". Your video gave me a completely different perspective on what she said. Besides the negative, intrusive thoughts I deal with daily, I'm working on becoming who I really am, not what society or my friends want me to be. Because, to me, being kind to myself was just allowing to be more forgiving to myself. I screw something up? It's ok, nothing serious, it can be fixed. I'm a perfectionist at heart, because of my ADHD, and so one of the things I've allowed myself is to have imperfections in my songs and recordings. If I allowed the perfectionist in me to take over, I'd still be working on recording my first song, whereas I've already recorded 2 and have 2 more I'm working on. I've switched my main instrument from guitar to bass, too, because it feels more natural. Before, I always took pride in being a "guitar player", but I never picked it up. Since starting my ADHD meds and letting go of expectations, I've played bass almost every day for at least 10 minutes, sometimes hours, and it feels amazing.
Thank you for your channel. It's like taking a look inside my self and seeing what I deal with through someone else, and knowing I'm not alone.
This video helped me understand why I'm so hard on myself, where it came from, and why I'm always trying to fix myself. Thank you, it really means a lot and brought me to tears! I will try to be kinder to myself
Whenever someone says something nice to me, I can't help but think they're wrong and tell them something bad about myself.
Thanks for making this a full video on its own – makes it easier to share with people who should really see this
Any tips to fix this?
Thank you for this❤. Resonated so much.
Love this, so true. Absolutely love yourself no matter what, if you're in bed all day, if your watching 'too much' YouTube, if your not following through with plans, if you don't feel enough….love yourself, no matter what xxx
for my entire school life i was gifted, talented, honors, magna cum laude, and had a lot of extracurriculars.. I got plenty of "constructive" criticism from my schooling and leaned on it as an escape from my negative home life (brother bullied me, mom was always sad/struggling from divorce). now I'm a civil engineer of 7 years and finally diagnosed adhd last year, but i am struggling to be on time lately due to physical impairments that affect my sleep. what information does anyone have about "overacheivers" who later in life get depression and anxiety when they aren't fulfilling the overachieving aspect or are struggling to even do simple daily routines?
73 years old …. still trying to get over 'school'
I love your videos ❤
Hi! Could you guys do a video explaining adhd meltdowns from an adhd AND neurotypical perspective (like, what it looks and feels like from both sides)?
What you said about living happily with your shoulders back really touched me. I was constantly told to put my shoulders back as a child. I see now that my poor posture was due to putting myself in a self-protecting position because I did feel defective and under attack. It has taken a lot of work to finally feel good about myself despite frustrating moments. Thank you.
I downloaded the Dubbi app but have a hard time choosing a one option to try out for free, since my whole house is one big room of doom.
❤
I am always not happy with my work i am high permofer with every company that I work i overwork evwrybody now I have wifie an doughter and i slow down but Energy needed to achive that success is big and bow i pay for this my health