Day 5! Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. But it hasn’t always been that way. In 2010 I suddenly developed, almost over night, intrusive thought OCD and my entire life changed. I looked the same on the outside but inside I didn’t recognize myself. Everything was dark. It was the closest I’ve ever felt to hell.
I went through that for a long time and during those years, Christmas was really difficult. I saw the hope and promise of joy and happiness and love all around me, but I couldn’t access it.
I felt that I had changed and the world had changed and that there was no going back. I didn’t think I’d ever feel happy again. Fast forward to now, and to make a very long story short, I’m not in that place anymore.
I’ve learned so much throughout my journey, most importantly: we are more than all the broken parts of our lives. We are not our thoughts, or experiences, or feelings. And nothing we go through changes who we truly are. Hope is never lost and happiness is possible for anyone, no matter what.
If you are in a dark or difficult place right now for any reason, remember that you’re not alone. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
I wrote a song about my experience.
It’s called “Victory,” it’s the last song on my album I released in 2020. I hope it will bring you peace. You’re not alone.
“We are born from the ashes,
we were born to thrive
we are more than all the broken
pieces of this life”
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