35 thoughts on “r/Bestof I Deserve Your Unborn Baby!”
The door story makes me think of an anecdote from a former employer.
I worked at a mom and pop pizza shop and the owner lets call her Linda, was a fairly short woman. (I estimate maybe between 4'11-5'3?)
Linda was very much a hard working, boots on the ground, lead by example type boss, and she could practically run the kitchen herself if needed. I bring up the fact that she's short because the pizza oven was very tall and fairly deep, and as a result of its size relative to her, she had her fair share of burns from her arm grazing the bottom edge when it was open.
During a slow day one time she told me that she once had somebody who was a licensed counselor express concern about her "self harming" because they noticed several horizontal red lines of varying ages and degrees on her wrists and forearms.
I was raised in a Mormon home my father is a devoted member. My mom isn't a Mormon and is a Christian now. Also my parents divorced years ago before my mom became a Christian. So I'm not really religious myself, but op your aunt is really horrible especially since she considers adoption so badly. I mean she's trying to adopt your soon to be born child. I understand the blood and possible face, but there are plenty of homeless children who need better care out there.
That fist story reminds me a little of something similar (but not as aggressive) that happened to me.
I got pregnant with my oldest child when I was 17. I was raised mormon, so teenage pregnancy was a HUGE no-no. My Young Women's leader told me that her sister (who lived across the country) was struggling with fertility issues and that she had a "personal revelation" that I was supposed to give my baby to her sister.
I told her that I felt in my heart of hearts that I was supposed to keep my baby. Even though she was my youth leader, she stopped talking to me after that. As if I wasn't worth her time because I didn't want to give my baby to a stranger who lived several states away.
As someone who is a Conservative Christian, the Aunt and Cousin in story 1 are crazy narcissists. It's none of my business how a cousin of mine raises their kids, in no world would I assume that I'd take their child… Really hope her cousin gets actual help.
I think that Kay might’ve ‘liked’ OP and wanted to “save” them like a person helping a beat-up abandoned puppy. That or just a straight-up hero complex.
I feel like if we stop conditioning little girls to be mothers from young age then they won’t grow up trying to steal other people babies and act like motherhood is their only purpose in life
1st story – cousin doesn't want the baby to have 'any issues' as though being raised by said cousin and her crazy religious mother won't give them a tone of issues
My baby was born at 30 weeks and 2 days. I am thankful to the goddess that she is healthy and happy. I am also a firm believer that sometimes if you are not given the opportunity to have a child, there is a universal reason. This is not always the case, but sometimes it is.
My husband and I adopted using an Utah based adoption agency. We literally waited 2 weeks once we were approved to start matching until we were matched with our daughter’s birthmom— who was already in labor. Not 2 years. 2 weeks. Why? Because of people with attitudes like the cousin. Our daughter is black and had some mild complications during her birthmom’s pregnancy. Most Utah Mormons wanted white babies. But the preference is definitely for blue haired, blue eyed, child of a sixteen year old who only had sex once and has never set eyes on alcohol, or cigarettes, let alone consumed them. Fact of the matter is adoption is never “perfect” and just like in life, you never know if your child will be born healthy, and complications during pregnancy happen. Also, it’s not crazy that a grown woman would get unexpectedly pregnant and only stop drinking alcohol after she finds out she is pregnant. Typically the risk to the fetus is minimal assuming she finds out she is pregnant relatively early. With Mormon attitudes about alcohol this is often not acceptable.
I don't understand all these Reddit stories where someone is having a struggle to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby and yet they don't just go and adopt wich sounds like the obvious option.
Kay we get it you think OP is being abused when she's not.
Also the last story is when the bf said "I never want to see you again" thats like when Karen says "I'm never shopping at this store again" like good we don't want you to.
5:40 That's the way all religion works. Throughout the ages, it has always been used to create moral justification for the in-group of believers to harass and persecute anyone else they feel like. Because their morality is based on adherence to the group and not on logic, they have full control over what is and isn't "moral" and they can twist that to always include themselves and selectively exclude whomever they want to go after at the moment.
Story 1: As a member of this church, I would like to add some more information.
While the aunt is correct that we believe a child should be raised in a strong, stable, and loving home and taught church doctrine. We absolutely cannot and should not force other families to do the same. Let alone try to take a child. That is way outside of the teachings of the church.
Also, going to the Aunt's bishop was an interesting choice. Our bishops are unpaid, volunteers, and have very few options when it comes to discipline. Like all people, they are imperfect. They are also not police officers or therapists.
When it comes to harrasment, it is much better to contact law enforcement or lawyers before going to a bishop.
Every time I hear that last story I think of the Chevy Chase movie, Funny Farm. At a pivotal part of the movie, Chevy, who has been struggling to write a book, steals his wife's manuscript and passes it off as his own. She was so proud of her work and was devastated he could do this to her, but like this idiot, he doubled down.
Before ur bf starts in on u u should start in on him on how dare he still YOUR gift to YOUR mom just bc he didn’t get one for his mom it’s not ok and ur not the bad guy for taking ur gift back but he’s the bad guy for not only not getting his mom and gift but compounding it by stealing a gift only for it to be taking back by the rightful owner of said gift ur nta but he sure is in multiple ways
My girlfriend is blind in one eye. It's been that way since she was a young child. She doesn't remember a time when she had two working eyes. Yet, she isn't constantly bumping into anything. And she's never mentioned anything like that to me. Did the OP of the second story go blind in one eye later in life? Is that the difference?
the 2nd story seems fake because ; my left eye was permanently blind since i was in kindergarten, never in my life i got a bruise from a door handle or something because i cant see really well
even my right eye are bad and i need glasses to read
I do want to mention, the first story, not all LDS is like that since I read a lotta stuff about it. But I will say, some communities are kinda crazy. Cough Utah and Idaho Cough and that's saying something since I am in the church. I am sure that the community OP grew up in is one of those areas since their aunt was able to stick all her church friends on her. But not everyone is like that
I also wanna say, that it sounds more like OP's sister is just blindly following and sticking to what she can in her grief. That's understandable, in her situation, it does hurt, so I've heard. I never experienced it personally, not yet anyway, and I hope I never do. But in the church, we teach there is a preexistence, so I can see what they're getting at saying OP's baby might be her baby. But I really doubt that. Her kids will find their way to her, whether she has them or not. She just has to have faith, and just let go of that godforsaken idea that the baby has to look like her. For all she knows, there might be a kid for her to adopt that needs her. Maybe the time isn't right for her to have a baby.
Also, don't blame the Bishop, he did like, all he could do. Not like he could go over and get after them for it, and with the pregnancy hormones and the post, I think that's what OP wanted. But what he did sounds perfect. He just went over there and focused the conversation on the sister's pain and the need for therapy, which is obviously where all this is coming from.
And like I mentioned before, pregnancy hormones. Probably dramatized a bit since the hormones would be making everything seem worse. Not OP's fault, but something to keep in mind. Some people get really paranoid during pregnancy.
story 3: If he treats his mother like that, imagine how he'll treat you down the road. This is just a glimpse of the future of being with someone who could care less about others.
Pisses me off to see all these stories of people so desperate for a child but only willing to take from parents who want their kid and not adopt a child who actually needs a loving home
Story 1: I'm LDS and let me tell you 99% of people in the church would not support forcing someone to give up their unborn baby if they don't want to. I honestly think that the aunt has probably lied to her church friends and exaggerating. Her belief that op is an unfit mother
Bruh why is it always religious nuts who are just the absolute worst people to everyone else Edit: Kay is in medical school and doesn't possess the ability of critical thinking, like she's been told the exact reason why the bruises are there, and if op is constantly bumping into stuff she's probably seen op doing it…she seems like she's gonna end up in deep trouble eventually Wtf!? The boyfriend took the urn and gave it to his mum, basically stole it, and then made his mum upset cause he's crap at gift giving and an inconsiderate prick…it would be nice of op to make another urn in a similar style, but the boyfriend is the bad guy here, I'm so glad op dumped the garbage in the end
Won’t the baby in story 1 still be lacking a sense of identity by not being raised by the people that created her?
For story 3, I wish OP took a little of that clay and all that emotion and still made her something. I don’t think she was mad at OP, I think she was just so sad to realize that she didn’t mean as much to her son once again. It was her birthday for Christ’s sake and he didn’t get her anything at all and when he does it’s not even something she’s into. He’s just a sorry excuse for a son
The door story makes me think of an anecdote from a former employer.
I worked at a mom and pop pizza shop and the owner lets call her Linda, was a fairly short woman. (I estimate maybe between 4'11-5'3?)
Linda was very much a hard working, boots on the ground, lead by example type boss, and she could practically run the kitchen herself if needed. I bring up the fact that she's short because the pizza oven was very tall and fairly deep, and as a result of its size relative to her, she had her fair share of burns from her arm grazing the bottom edge when it was open.
During a slow day one time she told me that she once had somebody who was a licensed counselor express concern about her "self harming" because they noticed several horizontal red lines of varying ages and degrees on her wrists and forearms.
Aunt/Cousin indicates this is a single person who is simultaneously aunt & cousin
Sweet Home Alabama plays
Priest in 1st story is a lazy bastard. What a shitty church leader
Story one: tell her if God wanted cousin to have a baby, he'd give her one.
Wtf is going on with the influx of people who think they deserve other people's babies? Like I constantly see these stories in reddit, wtf.
Story 1: while everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, Mormons are not Christian, even if they want to try to rebrand themselves xD
While it is an offshoot of Christianity and shares many fundamentals, its core doctrine is heretical by traditional Christian standards.
Thus the Mormon aunt having an issue with the child being raised in a "non-Christian" environment is hysterical to me
I was raised in a Mormon home my father is a devoted member. My mom isn't a Mormon and is a Christian now. Also my parents divorced years ago before my mom became a Christian. So I'm not really religious myself, but op your aunt is really horrible especially since she considers adoption so badly. I mean she's trying to adopt your soon to be born child. I understand the blood and possible face, but there are plenty of homeless children who need better care out there.
That fist story reminds me a little of something similar (but not as aggressive) that happened to me.
I got pregnant with my oldest child when I was 17. I was raised mormon, so teenage pregnancy was a HUGE no-no. My Young Women's leader told me that her sister (who lived across the country) was struggling with fertility issues and that she had a "personal revelation" that I was supposed to give my baby to her sister.
I told her that I felt in my heart of hearts that I was supposed to keep my baby. Even though she was my youth leader, she stopped talking to me after that. As if I wasn't worth her time because I didn't want to give my baby to a stranger who lived several states away.
As someone who is a Conservative Christian, the Aunt and Cousin in story 1 are crazy narcissists. It's none of my business how a cousin of mine raises their kids, in no world would I assume that I'd take their child… Really hope her cousin gets actual help.
Kay is using Social Services to SWAT you.
I think that Kay might’ve ‘liked’ OP and wanted to “save” them like a person helping a beat-up abandoned puppy. That or just a straight-up hero complex.
I feel like if we stop conditioning little girls to be mothers from young age then they won’t grow up trying to steal other people babies and act like motherhood is their only purpose in life
1st story – cousin doesn't want the baby to have 'any issues' as though being raised by said cousin and her crazy religious mother won't give them a tone of issues
My baby was born at 30 weeks and 2 days. I am thankful to the goddess that she is healthy and happy. I am also a firm believer that sometimes if you are not given the opportunity to have a child, there is a universal reason. This is not always the case, but sometimes it is.
My husband and I adopted using an Utah based adoption agency. We literally waited 2 weeks once we were approved to start matching until we were matched with our daughter’s birthmom— who was already in labor. Not 2 years. 2 weeks. Why? Because of people with attitudes like the cousin. Our daughter is black and had some mild complications during her birthmom’s pregnancy. Most Utah Mormons wanted white babies. But the preference is definitely for blue haired, blue eyed, child of a sixteen year old who only had sex once and has never set eyes on alcohol, or cigarettes, let alone consumed them. Fact of the matter is adoption is never “perfect” and just like in life, you never know if your child will be born healthy, and complications during pregnancy happen. Also, it’s not crazy that a grown woman would get unexpectedly pregnant and only stop drinking alcohol after she finds out she is pregnant. Typically the risk to the fetus is minimal assuming she finds out she is pregnant relatively early. With Mormon attitudes about alcohol this is often not acceptable.
Kay is a coward! Couldn't even talk to OP? Just straight to the police smh
I don't understand all these Reddit stories where someone is having a struggle to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby and yet they don't just go and adopt wich sounds like the obvious option.
Kay we get it you think OP is being abused when she's not.
Also the last story is when the bf said "I never want to see you again" thats like when Karen says "I'm never shopping at this store again" like good we don't want you to.
5:40 That's the way all religion works. Throughout the ages, it has always been used to create moral justification for the in-group of believers to harass and persecute anyone else they feel like. Because their morality is based on adherence to the group and not on logic, they have full control over what is and isn't "moral" and they can twist that to always include themselves and selectively exclude whomever they want to go after at the moment.
Story 1:
As a member of this church, I would like to add some more information.
While the aunt is correct that we believe a child should be raised in a strong, stable, and loving home and taught church doctrine. We absolutely cannot and should not force other families to do the same. Let alone try to take a child. That is way outside of the teachings of the church.
Also, going to the Aunt's bishop was an interesting choice. Our bishops are unpaid, volunteers, and have very few options when it comes to discipline. Like all people, they are imperfect. They are also not police officers or therapists.
When it comes to harrasment, it is much better to contact law enforcement or lawyers before going to a bishop.
I have no idea why they brought the Bishop into this and it seems like the Bishop was wondering the same thing lol.
Every time I hear that last story I think of the Chevy Chase movie, Funny Farm. At a pivotal part of the movie, Chevy, who has been struggling to write a book, steals his wife's manuscript and passes it off as his own. She was so proud of her work and was devastated he could do this to her, but like this idiot, he doubled down.
Before ur bf starts in on u u should start in on him on how dare he still YOUR gift to YOUR mom just bc he didn’t get one for his mom it’s not ok and ur not the bad guy for taking ur gift back but he’s the bad guy for not only not getting his mom and gift but compounding it by stealing a gift only for it to be taking back by the rightful owner of said gift ur nta but he sure is in multiple ways
My girlfriend is blind in one eye. It's been that way since she was a young child. She doesn't remember a time when she had two working eyes. Yet, she isn't constantly bumping into anything. And she's never mentioned anything like that to me. Did the OP of the second story go blind in one eye later in life? Is that the difference?
the 2nd story seems fake because ; my left eye was permanently blind since i was in kindergarten, never in my life i got a bruise from a door handle or something because i cant see really well
even my right eye are bad and i need glasses to read
I do want to mention, the first story, not all LDS is like that since I read a lotta stuff about it. But I will say, some communities are kinda crazy. Cough Utah and Idaho Cough and that's saying something since I am in the church. I am sure that the community OP grew up in is one of those areas since their aunt was able to stick all her church friends on her. But not everyone is like that
I also wanna say, that it sounds more like OP's sister is just blindly following and sticking to what she can in her grief. That's understandable, in her situation, it does hurt, so I've heard. I never experienced it personally, not yet anyway, and I hope I never do. But in the church, we teach there is a preexistence, so I can see what they're getting at saying OP's baby might be her baby. But I really doubt that. Her kids will find their way to her, whether she has them or not. She just has to have faith, and just let go of that godforsaken idea that the baby has to look like her. For all she knows, there might be a kid for her to adopt that needs her. Maybe the time isn't right for her to have a baby.
Also, don't blame the Bishop, he did like, all he could do. Not like he could go over and get after them for it, and with the pregnancy hormones and the post, I think that's what OP wanted. But what he did sounds perfect. He just went over there and focused the conversation on the sister's pain and the need for therapy, which is obviously where all this is coming from.
And like I mentioned before, pregnancy hormones. Probably dramatized a bit since the hormones would be making everything seem worse. Not OP's fault, but something to keep in mind. Some people get really paranoid during pregnancy.
Story #2: see red! No wait that's blood
story 3: If he treats his mother like that, imagine how he'll treat you down the road. This is just a glimpse of the future of being with someone who could care less about others.
Pisses me off to see all these stories of people so desperate for a child but only willing to take from parents who want their kid and not adopt a child who actually needs a loving home
Story 1: I'm LDS and let me tell you 99% of people in the church would not support forcing someone to give up their unborn baby if they don't want to. I honestly think that the aunt has probably lied to her church friends and exaggerating. Her belief that op is an unfit mother
Bruh why is it always religious nuts who are just the absolute worst people to everyone else
Edit: Kay is in medical school and doesn't possess the ability of critical thinking, like she's been told the exact reason why the bruises are there, and if op is constantly bumping into stuff she's probably seen op doing it…she seems like she's gonna end up in deep trouble eventually
Wtf!? The boyfriend took the urn and gave it to his mum, basically stole it, and then made his mum upset cause he's crap at gift giving and an inconsiderate prick…it would be nice of op to make another urn in a similar style, but the boyfriend is the bad guy here, I'm so glad op dumped the garbage in the end
Won’t the baby in story 1 still be lacking a sense of identity by not being raised by the people that created her?
For story 3, I wish OP took a little of that clay and all that emotion and still made her something. I don’t think she was mad at OP, I think she was just so sad to realize that she didn’t mean as much to her son once again. It was her birthday for Christ’s sake and he didn’t get her anything at all and when he does it’s not even something she’s into. He’s just a sorry excuse for a son
Interesting OP didn't mention the "church friends" Aunt press ganged into harassing her, when talking to the church leader.
OP is upset that K didn't talk to her first eh? Well, did OP talk to K before reporting her?
1st story: PLEASE JUST CALL THE POLICE! Omfg, why do people just let family do this to them?