I have a younger brother and he is married to my sister in law. I work and travel a lot and brother’s wife hates my kind of lifestyle. She wants me to settle down and have a family but I enjoy my work and traveling. Well recently I bought an amazing gift for my brother’s birthday but I had to cancel it last minute because of sister in law.
#toxicfamily #sisterinlaw #birthdaygift
source
Server story: I work retail and have for the last 20+ years. I’ve worked 8 hours for 12 days straight before some I did from 6am-10pm with about 10 hours overtime.I didn’t throw a fit about it. Yeah I vent to my best friend about it but ultimately it’s on me because I chose do this work.
Story 1. Nta. Well it looks like the sister-in-law cut that snobby nose off despite her face.
I know she is allowed to invite whoever she wants to to the party as well as judge people however she has no say in the consequences that comes from her words and actions
Disney Dipshit: OP NTA and your brother needs to get his wife in line, not stay out of it. And tell bitchy poo that don't bother sucking up because you have already seen the gold-digger in her wanting you only for watch she can get out of you… and to Fuck Off,,,
That second story is a classic example of an out of touch boomer who doesn't understand anything about how the world really is!
Story 4. Nta everyone accusing op of nepotism and acting like it's a disgusting vile thing for someone to do all of them sound jealous.
Does other people that scream the loudest about changing progress and tell everybody how they should be living their lives but yet don't do one damn thing to change anything but yell and throw temper tantrums and call it a protest
Story 1- the real joke is that THIS man can work , save tons of money, and when he’s 50-59…… find a younger woman, get married ( optional) and have kids!
SIL can either protect her children from a single man who travels for work OR EMBRACE the fun uncle who may someday settle down….
EITHER WAY SHE NEEDS TO LOSE THE STICK!!!!!🤣
All these comments from people saying "nepotism" don't understand how family businesses work.
Work Story: NTA. He is going to be one miserable person if he doesn't get his work ethic in order. You are just teaching him the responsibilities of being an adult and that sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. Where I disagree with you is your comment on waiting tables not being work. Any job were you deal directly by customers has to be some of the worst jobs. Have you listened to how people behave?
1) Wow, that is disgusting to exclude the brother like that, and good for OP for deciding to stop giving to someone who would take his money, demand it even, and then disrespect him, but it's not just the SIL behind this, why is his brother allowing her to treat his brother like this? ,
2) Wow OP, have some understanding and empathy. I'm sure it's a pretty crap job and he is not spoiled to think this and for OP to be so dismissive is disgusting. YTA.
3) Sister has an issue that is not an allergy but her BS and running to complain to mommy means she should not be welcome in OP's home. NTA
4) OP is in a partnership and self-admitted bad with money and she is trying to give him a dose of reality with concern for a future. OP is an idiot who owes her an apology and should take her advice. YTA.
5) This is something that should have been discussed and agreed upon when she was allowed to live there. I think mom's conditions are reasonable. BU again, this should have been discussed. ESH.
Feels wild listening to that final story
In my house we regularly get individual treat foods that we agree are not household treats
No one drinks my brother's waters, no one eats my mom's ice creams without asking first, and so on
If we have foods we got for ourselves, as ADULTS we simply do the grown up thing and Ask Permission before eating it
Is it literally difficult that if you KNOW that you didn't buy something to just… Not eat it without asking what the deal is???
If this was something other than food(computer, games, clothes etc) Reddit would be up in arms about how it was bought with their kid's money and it isn't theirs to give away ðŸ˜
Edit to add; my family lives in a place with a higher cost of living so my parents aren't fussed about my brother and I moving out right away, we're both young adults.
NTA for story one obviously. If sil wants to play stupid games, she deserves stupid prizes!
2nd story…OP is an A. His kid is working, what more does he want?!
Not everyone wants to work 24 hours a day. If OP wants to do THAT, then more power to him, but not everyone wants to die at the office, or not spend quality time with the family, or even have personal time!
Hope OP enjoys living alone with his money!
College grad ? Charge him rent.
I bet op sister-in-law is going to regret opening her big mouth story1
Wait for sil bday and send her dna test kit,that should rile her up
I think the only job worse than being a server or other food service worker is being a nurse.
Also those in the military get 30 days of paid vacation every year. I highly doubt they get that as a server
Story 1: Wow, OP, your sister-in-law is a real idiot. The nerve of her, talking crap about you like that. You were right to cancel the Disney trip and take your parents on a golfing trip instead. I feel bad for your brother and nephews, who are innocent in this, because they’re around her 24/7. I’m glad no one else in the family is getting involved, but how much are you willing to tolerate to maintain a relationship with your brother? Hopefully, he’ll realize how toxic she is.
The son who is the server is the one who looks down on the job, not OP. How dare he be expected to perform such labor! OP is right – he had a choice, made it, if you don't like it, quit – unlike the other servers who probably may not have a degree yet and a FREE LIVING SITUATION. The son is the entitled one.
Excuse me $20 an hour plus tips I make 725 an hour answering phone
Fake allergy story: Yeeeah! Show that bitch who's boss! I'm actually allergic to dogs not super deadly but I still have one and have to regularly take medication for it. Sometimes I break out in hives and sometimes when I go too long without medication I do start to have trouble breathing. So it annoys the shit out of me when people fake it. Like bitch just say you hate animals. (Ps I wasn't always allergic to my dog)
Also if your sister was allergic, you just being near her would cause her to have a reaction. Pet dander is everywhere, it sticks to your clothes, your body just fuckin everything. She's a faker, you know it, your grandma knows it, everyone knows it.
2nd story, almost had it then fumbled at the line.
I would love an update to the story where the SIL thinks OP is the scum of the earth and his brother is staying out of it. The thing is, his brother is an AH for not reining in his wife and making it clear that she is not to trash talk his brother, or exclude him from family events. I can't see that marriage lasting, in the long run. If it does the SIL will alienate the brother from everyone else in the family.
One day the church we were going to at the time got a new preacher. He and his wife came by to talk with my mom (probably to try to get her to put church in her will). They sat around for about two hours before one of our cats got tired of visitors and jumped on the coffee table to glare at them. The preacher was all oh my wife is allergic to cats. And they finally left. Remember I said cats? Between myself my mom and my sister we gad six cats in that house. If she was allergic she wouldn't have made it in the door. We never went back to that church
So much resentment in the comments, his dad has money and gave him a good job, he must be the Ahole 🙄🙄🙄
"I can't believe you'd cancel that gift over an invite."
He didn't. He canceled it over the way you think and speak about him, which includes the invite to his own brother's birthday. He is not obligated to reward you in any way in light of that. He should continue to choose to limit his investiture into your family because of that. You are your own cause of trouble, because you have chosen to deserve less.
Do you know what happens when you have a real cat allergy? The cat that hates everyone wants to come and stare you in the face to decide what's wrong with you. Doesn't matter where the cat was when I come over. They gravitate to me and then they climb on me while the owner is apologizing that their cat never acts like this and the the sneezing starts. Cat sticks around long enough to make sure the snot has started and then they go sit in the corner staring at you. And when the sneezing slows down, they come back just to make sure
So op can find a girl at every resort? 😂 OK, he does sound kinda sleazy. But unless she wanted to shun him completely, sil should have held her tongue.
nta, yta, nta, yta, yta
Story 1: I'm not going to speculate on OP's brother for the simple fact that I don't want to make the same mistake as SIL and make assumptions that I know everything just based on little information given and potential bias. Instead, concerning how he handled SIL, OP is NTA. He may not live the lifestyle she approves of, but if he's not hurting her, her husband (his brother) or her children then it really isn't any of her business. She opened her big mouth, had no tack in her disapproval and lost an opportunity to have a vacation as a result.
You can't insult someone and expect them to give you nice things.
S1, NTA, in future only contact your brother via your parents, don’t gift the kids or brother in future, NC with SiL is essential
S2, NTI, obviously the son isn’t suited to retail, he needs to get a job suited to his skills and personality
WAITING ON
TABLES In
restaurants
is work not
just a job not
to mention
it's hard +
sometimes
UNPLEASANT.
Sister-in-law sounds like she might want BIL. Why the hell is your own brother letting her do this though? Is he like jealous too and just isn't saying anything or is he just whipped?
Since when is being a server 'not a real job'?
Story 4 about the oP spending money NTA and last comment was right about of genders swapped there’d be different comments.
Reddit seems to have loads of man hating feminazis who’s concept of feminism is that women should be treat like queens, without the works, and when they do bad things it’s a man’s fault. Like all the cheating and open relationship stories where women defend nasty women
Imagine thinking wait staff aren't working… wild.
OP doesn't owe him an apology for telling his son that he needs to suck ot up and work. But OP is the AH for saying that waiting tables isn't work.
Cat story – sister stayed with op for a week and had no complaints. She’s not allergic or sensitive. When she found out there had been a cat in the apartment, she broke out in hives. I blame the parents. They fed the idea OP’s sister was allergic, since she was young, and now it is part of her psyche. OP needs to explain to sister knowledge doesn’t cause an allergic reaction and she’s not allergic. The parents are the AH’s and are now mad that OP found out they were lying about the allergies for all this time.
NTA everyone who says so for the first story must not live in the real world. Men don't have the luxury of consistently complaining without trying to change the situation..
Story 3: Thanks, I enjoyed th laugh. The edit says it all.
Cat story reminded me of something. My wife is VERY allergic to cats, like, will have trouble breathing and feel like she is suffocating, and yes, she is actually allergic, she has had started having reactions before we asked and were told of a cat being nearby. Back when we dated in college, she came to visit me at my place I was living with friends and another couple who just lived there. So we all are in the living room playing games when it happens, the other roommates cat hops up on the couch, I had forgotten the other couple had a cat. Everyone freezes, because we all know my wife is allergic and… nothing. The cat is on her lap purring and snuggling and my wife has no reaction, and we realize she had been there for hours, no reaction. We later discover that their cat is a Maine Coon, and there is some very anecdotal evidence Maine Coon's don't trigger allergic reactions. My wife loves cats even though she will never be able to be near one comfortably, so for the months I lived there and she came over, she got plenty of time to play with the cat, and never had a reaction. Also, we started not having a good relationship with the cat's owner, they were always fighting with each other and just unpleasant. They ended up moving out early, and while moving they asked us a favor, they couldn't take all their stuff and the cat in one trip, could we watch the cat for a week and then they'd come back for her. We said yes, and after a week, kitty was gone forever. And to this day, I still think… I should have stole that cat 😂. Scumbag move I know, but they were generally unpleasant and a hypoallergenic cat would have been amazing. Oh well…
If the girlfriend of the nepo baby was so concerned her boyfriend was spending too much, she could pay half of everything. His expenses would half and he could save more. But she won't suggest that because she'd be spending money
Nta. Your life isnt her business. She can lose the trip and any funds you provide. The gift card was plenty. Sil took away the trip all on her own.
Op should send the himself, parents, nibblings, and bro to disney. Leave sil at home
Esh. He does have a job. If it wasn't one ppl would do it themselves. So you suck for saying what you did. He sucks bc yes sometimes in life you will have to work for 12 days in a row. He can get out of it by claiming no availability one day a week.
Nta. Sister can deal or pitch a tent in the yard. It is the cats house. Sister can rent a airbnb with her new job.
Nta. It is your money. She just sounds like she wants to spend more of your money and is mad she can't
Nta. If she is gonna be like that she can buy all her own food herself and she can stay out of your food. If she calls ppl us8ng her stuff as stealing. Then she too is stealing everytime she takes something she didn't buy herself. I bet she steals from you more than you steal from her.
Story 2: As someone still active duty, don’t compare what we chose to do to a civilian job in a dismissive manner. We chose this, there was no draft. What is op saying? Because we chose to risk our lives and be away from family for months at a time no job compares unless it’s like that?
I’m betting OP wasn’t around very much when my son was growing up so this time could have been their time now.
He also just finished college so he was dedicated for an extra 4 years following 12 years… give him a break too.