Galactic Council Betrayed Humanity and Paid The Price When Our Fleet Arrived | HFY | Sci-Fi Story



Galactic Council Betrayed Humanity and Paid The Price When Our Fleet Arrived | HFY | Sci-Fi Story

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17 thoughts on “Galactic Council Betrayed Humanity and Paid The Price When Our Fleet Arrived | HFY | Sci-Fi Story”

  1. There are far too many repetitions of the same exact speech, with maybe one or two words shifted for the circumstances. While the story has potential and I like that potential, the execution of telling the story has far, far too many 'props' that hold up the story. A singular truth, a shared determination, and let's not forget how every five minutes, he 'realized' that their future lay together and they would face problems together, bound by a dream of cooperation. Saying that so many times is just time killing and retracts the 'oomph' of such a concept to the point where it is more of a joke than anything else. There is maybe twenty minutes of a story here. Yet that endless repitition makes it nearly an hour. To sum up, good potential in the story, yet it was ruined by repeating the same, nearly barf worthy concepts over and over, like the author was attempting to bludgeon us with that concept and shove it down our throats. Which is not cool. A good concept, don't get me wrong. But anything, no matter how good, being rammed down our throats every five minutes when attempting to get through a story, is not an acceptable way to tell a story. On a scale of one to ten, this is rated a solid two. One of those points is for the artwork used. Good work to whoever, but had little to nothing to do with the actual story. Cheers.

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  2. if you want an ambassador to be a Hero: make him ex-military and let him do his deeds before he gets ambassador.
    my immersion was gone from the start.
    "there is an asteroid on its way, its gonna hit the station in 5 minutes. what do we do captain?"
    "ahh, we just wait and see. maybe the ambassador has any ideas and is willing to fly with our new spaceship to save us all."
    things that never happened and will never happen for 500 please.

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  3. This story was way to long for a 'short story.' If it had to be this long to get to its conclusion, split it up into 4 parts. Furthermore, an editor needed to look at it. The repetitiveness of words, phrases, and descriptions did more to dilute the story than enhance it. Like we saw in advertising a couple of decades ago:"New and Improved," ad nauseam. What struck me the most? This story was written in such a passive style it bored me. TL:DR: Too long, passive storytelling, repetitive statements and descriptive narratives, and really needed proof reading by a real editor.

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