Join Malcolm and Simone Collins for a frank and thought-provoking discussion on conjugal duties in marriage. This video explores the complex dynamics of sexual obligations, consent, and relationship expectations in both traditional and modern contexts. The Collins couple offers their unique perspective on marital contracts, sexual satisfaction, and the often-overlooked aspects of successful long-term partnerships.
Key points covered:
The concept of conjugal duties in different relationship models
The importance of clear expectations and relationship contracts
Sexual satisfaction as a mutual responsibility
The role of consent and enthusiasm in marital intimacy
Age gap relationships and power dynamics
Challenges faced by high-status individuals in maintaining fulfilling relationships
The pitfalls of polyamory for average couples
The importance of appreciation and recognition in long-term partnerships
Whether you’re married, considering marriage, or simply interested in relationship dynamics, this video offers valuable insights into the complexities of modern partnerships.
Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction to conjugal duties
3:58 Relationship foundations and expectations
7:27 Age gap relationships and power dynamics
14:57 Sexual satisfaction as mutual responsibility
19:42 Consent and relationship contracts
24:38 High-status relationships and infidelity
29:20 The challenges of polyamory for average couples
34:22 Non-reproductive sex and relationship duties
39:52 The importance of appreciation in marriage
44:50 Christian traditions and modern misconceptions
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To notes:
1. It was wrong of me too speak to Simone in an elevated tone.
2. People who have read our books may note I am now less open to "traditional poly" than I historically was. This is mostly downstream of seeing a number of our friends with poly relationships that we thought where stable have their life's spiral apart. This is not to say I take a strict stance on relationships where both partners agree to extramarital encounters just that the traditional poly structure of frequent and casual sex outside of marriage has lead to unhappiness for more of our friends that tried it than happiness. For example, I don't have enough data to know if Andrew Tates style of marriage will work.
Having a main woman would only hurt some one like DiCaprio sourcing new women.
Womens most desirable years don’t matter much. A women who is in her grandmother years can still get more attention from men than most attractive men can get in their peek
You're talking about marriages based on sex, but I would think that most pronatalist marriages would be built around starting a family, and that non-reproductive sex would not be one of the top most important components of such a marriage.
You have many children, why aren't both parents shown helping with the kids during your conversation?
I hesitated to be the 305th like because I wanted to preserve the poetic beauty of 304 likes on a post about a wife’s conjugal duty.
How does a man find the other Simones out there?
I really disagree about the characterization of Mackenzie Scott as someone who must be unpleasant to be married to, on the basis of her divorce settlement.
You said she didn’t contribute much but they have 4 children and while bezos was building Amazon, she was the one raising the kids primarily. So no she didn’t build Amazon but she did support her husband and facilitated him being able to become successful. If you think her role isn’t substantial, I guess I’d defer to all the super rich people who I have heard say that the person you marry and have a family with are an important factor in their success and ability to maintain that type of focus and work ethic.
But beyond that, Jeff Bezos got married and lived in a state with community property laws relating to marriage and divorce. He is clearly an intelligent man and made the decision to marry and have kids. He has agency and none of the these divorce laws were a secret.
She ended up with quarter of his Amazon holdings (4%). And has pledged to give half her wealth to charity.
Bezos was having an affair, which is neither here nor there necessarily but certainly could have been an issue.
None of this makes her or him good partners, but none of this makes her a bad wife or unpleasant person.
Why chose the clip of the mature lady with the octogenarian as an example of a manipulative age gap? That's probably the least controversial of age gaps that conjure up in people's minds. I wonder if it's in part because we don't want to be reminded of the laws and social guard rails that seek to protect girls from manipulative older men? I get that a 23 or 24 yr old is not a girl though we so often call them that. But as a society, we do tend to nurture the intuitive "ick factor" (toward older men) when girls are young as that's when they are the most vulnerable. And it's not like that ick magically goes away at 18 or even 24. So then, one does wonder if there is a strong selection bias going on, in which wealthy men looking only for short-term sexual access are mostly picking from a pool of beautiful women who skew dark triad (they tend to have lower sexual disgust, etc.).
I swear Simone has the most lovely smile I've ever seen.
I feel the cost analysis approach is just not human enough for most people.
We are talking about lovers relationships and the economic bindings of long-term coupling…you need a shared narrative more than a cost vs benefit analysis.
That's why Leo dating younger is gross even if the women are old enough to understand. They are young enough and he is powerful enough that everyone can see how he can manipulate the relationships narrative.
If he did it once and was a chad husband to a 20 year old it would be less gross, but that is not what he does
Eastern Orthodox Christian here. When people typically say "Christian values" they mean what God wants us to do. Of course there was polygamy, divorce, infidelity, etc in Christian societies. People sin. You're conflating what people have always done in all societies with what Christians ought to do. You'll find that early Christian interpretations of biblical examples of these activities don't condone them. Abraham having a child with Hagar with Sarah's permission is viewed and depicted in contrast with God's promise to Abraham to give him a son and many descendants. That was an example of Abraham and Sarah being human and lacking trust in God's promise, hence the fallout of that incident. David's polygamy (and most Old Testament polygamy) was seen as God condescending to the hard hearts of man.
Malcolm, to what extent have you investigated the Married Red-Pill community? As opposed to the Andrew Tate/Darwinian red-pill content creators, it's a group of online reddit posters and essay writers who specifically apply a strictly pragmatic perspective to committed marriage dynamics. I call it "Bartender Wisdom". Guys like Red Hawk and Rian Stone. The question of "why won't my wife have sex with me anymore and what can I do to change that?" is their bread and butter.
@13:00
I don't know how I got here, but great conversation
I think the apostle Paul had a pretty good rule about this sort of thing. Husbands and wives owe it to their spouse to honor their marital duties. Neither the husband nor the wife has ownership over their own bodies anymore. They belong to each other. Don't deprive each other unless it's for a mutually agreed upon, predetermined period of time. Paul says it should be for the sake of prayer, which is valid, but I think this was for example and that there are other valid reasons. Then, once that period has passed, don't delay in regularly fulfilling your conjugal duties so that you and your partner aren't tempted to go off doing things they shouldn't be doing. He later expresses his own personal opinions which I think only work in certain times and places, but as far as the rules of thumb that he was specifically commanded by God to tell the Corinthian church as previously described, I'd say it's very practical, realistic, and reasonable.
I think most people secretly agree with you. It's hard to understand the bitterness of trans widows without thinking about duty in the way you describe. They married with the assumption that they would get penetrative sex with a masculine partner and feel betrayed when that option is removed from the relationship. Given that they receive widespread sympathy from radfems I think even radfems see giving your spouse good sex as a marital duty it's just so taboo they don't admit it publicly.
“I endorse the traditional family ordained by the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!” Okaaay, well two of those three were polygamous for starters. Not to mention they had multigenerational households, homeschooled, grew their own food, both parents and all the children worked full time, but at least you got the cookouts down.
On the idea of a relationship being stable when the wife has other partners: This is specifically a plot point of _Lady Chatterly's Lover_. Lord Chatterly explains in the beginning that he is unable to satisfy her sexually due to a war wound and explicitly gives her permission to seek satisfaction elsewhere; all he asks is her discretion. Had she done so with a fellow aristocrat rather than with a commoner there would have been no scandal.
My late father had such a "billionaire mindset" that he would often joke that I'd better do a DNA test on any prospective mates to avoid any incestuous pairings.
@hoe_math
England literally became a Protestant country specifically because the Catholic Church wasn’t ok with Henry XIII having a side chick.