In today’s episode of rpg horror stories with dnd doge, we have a story about a problem player that decides it’s a good idea to whip it out during dungeons and dragons, a story about a lawful stupid paladin, and more!
Brother Sister Story: https://youtu.be/jZ1IzaW2bj0
0:00 Intro
0:45 Player Exposed
10:40 I Know How To Play
13:35 Paladin Hates Tiefling
source
At this point, both sister and brother should both go. Shes nothing but an enabler for her brother and letting him back in will only be an ok for him to continue this. It doesnt matter if shes a good roleplayer or not, either he goes or theyre both not welcome back. Apologies are just currency for behavior like this to this kind of person. Im sorry, but this guy needs professional help and its not fair to put that burden on a ttrpg group to be free replacement therapy.
So the people who showed up not knowing they needed dice were probably just there to take instagram photos.
Reminds me of a green text story where a GM came to a table where all three players thought it was normal to show your big candle IRL as a way to solve an inter-party conflict. They might've been all mildly drunk, I don't exactly remember.
For the first story.
The valid reasons are
1. Too keep your eye on him.
2. Ensure the safety of the sister.
Buddies mentality might take a huge hit and i wouldn't put it past him to try something wrong. X.x
OMG HE WIPPED HIS COCK OUT (In penguinz0 voice)
I remember 1 other story where ppl were arguing over who would be party leader so one guy whipped it out saying I have the biggest dong so I'm the leader XD
Okay, that last story I didn't put the connection when they described it but after the TLDR I am laughing my head off, that is just PERFECT XD
Nah cause how do you go back to playing with a guy who whipped out his dick and slammed it on the table in front of everyone Including his sister ??
That Tiefling Cleric tale was a Glory Story imho. Toss a coin for a good DM.
"Lawful good" murderhobos really are their own category of "D&D (Horror/Humor) Trope".
He's pulling his 🐓out!
I've suggested a few times that Doge dress up as an Aralez for the Halloween and Christmas seasons.
First story.. yaaaa kick both them out XD
Getting accidentally drunk 1 time might be excusable, but he insisted on drinking more even after the other party members told him to lay off. The non consensual nudity is also not really excusable
I'm making a dnd hombrew 5e moudel called Ashk: The plaice of ras almal.
9:40 I would allow him to stay on the following conditions:
1. He brings a medical note from a psychiatrist that he is sane, until then – he is not playing.
2. If he brings alcohol to the table, he isn't playing and isn't allowed to drink at the table either. If he comes to a game drunk, he isn't playing. If he cheats to break this rule, he will never play at this table again, no ifs or buts.
3. His every character from then on is cursed by the goddess of love, and if he ever tries to flirt with a woman who has rejected him once, he will take 1d10 lightning damage, no saves, overrides resistances and immunities, and if he persists, he will be incinerated.
4. Every time he creates a new character, he has to write a backstory that details how he received that curse. No incest or SA involved.
5. He is not allowed to play evil or chaotic characters, and if he acts outside non-evil and non-chaotic range of alignments, his character immediately leaves the party and becomes an NPC the DM will use as a minor villain, he must write a new one to participate.
6. If he acts indecent again, he will never play at this table again, no ifs or buts.
That first story screams some incestuous teasing between the two and if not more.
So…um…was it big enough?
So close to 20k let's go
I think you said it best with "Dude. What the actual fuck."
In all honesty, the DM of the last story did solve things out of game – he kicked the player out.
Ah ha yugi youve activated my trap card.
What do you play kaiba?
I play the one eyed white dragon yugi!
The what kaiba you mean blue eyes white dragon?
No yugi I mean my penis! Slamming noises intensify…
go home kaiba youre drunk.
Im drunk on Power!
I remember the original brother-hitting-on-sister horror story. Are we sure they're actually blood relatives rather than step-siblings? The sister acting like the brother's flirtation is nothing…is weird. Most people would be absolutely grossed out, not to mention horribly embarrassed, at a sibling even halfway joking about sex with them — if they grew up together. If they became 'siblings' only relatively recently then they wouldn't have that.
—
Another story about a paladin trying to kill a player's tiefling just because?
A thought struck me about this…this is the one concrete example of racism in the game. Players with good (alignment) tieflings who work for the benefit of others are attacked merely for existing by paladins who refuse to see the character as an individual. Those paladins hate the entire race because reasons. A true "lawful good" character wouldn't indiscriminately kill individuals for such superficial reasons. That's committing an extreme injustice. Paladins should have their alignment changed if they do. (or exploding into a pile of guts works too)
Next time he he whips his tic tac out, i think it’s permissible to hit it with full force
The flashing, even while drunk, is gonna be what everyone remembers you for anyways so a second chance wouldn't be fair to any party.
Kick the whip it out guy that’s actually a crime he’s should be getting arrested not given another chance
In that first story, I'm less bothered by him exposing himself than I am by the (apparently) months-long creeping on his own sister.
If it had been only 1 of his characters, I would have written it off as creepy, but whatever. But Every. Single. Character. He. Plays? No. That's some hardcore bleed. Even if his sister has convinced herself that he doesn't mean anything by it, no one else should be convinced. He wants to get with his own sister- nothing will convince me otherwise after everything he's done, especially after exposing himself in response to the sister's joke. In vino, veritas.
I don't know what white claw is, but it seems to play a supporting role in a lot of stories of problematic people
For the first story, that guy needs therapy. I'd be overly concerned with his need to try and seduce his sister's character versus anyone else's. I know that the characters they're playing aren't related, but it still feels way too incestuous. It just makes me think that he's got some skeletons that he needs to work out.
There is literally no reason to let someone who does not have some kind of developmental issues stay at yojr game table after EXPOSING THEMSELVES! Being a drunken asshole doesn't cut it.
Congrats on 20k!
A yes because when someone kills the god I Worship I’m just get horny not sad or Angry. Plus you can really kill a god they just get reborn.
Whitelaw is barely alcoholic.
Pretty sure that brother/sister duo have the last name Lannister…
Story #! – Could go either way on this one, I think it'd be up to the group themselves. Since he has a close relative there who'll be keeping a close eye on him, that is a point in his favor. Personally I'd say. allow him back, but under very strict guidelines. No drinking or substances is top of the list, but it should be clear that ANY anti-social behavior will be grounds for permanent ejection. No tap-backs, no new chances, no excuses.
Story #2 – Should have just kicked Luigi early on. If he wouldn't listen to advice, and would rather mess with his phone than play, then why is he there?
Story #3 – Paladin had it coming. If he wanted to play someone who starts out distrusting Teiflings, that MIGHT be acceptable in a lot of groups. But he took things way too far, and paid for it very appropriately, imo.
If that had been the group I grew up gaming with, when he whipped it out, there would have been a race for who's fist slammed down on his penis first.
Paladins have detect evil at will, do they not? Obviously just the player being difficult for no reason.
MORE OF THE MICRO-PANTHER BARDS!!!
The paladin in the last story fucked around and found out. You love it.
What the hell is with all these players who seem to view 'paladin' as a synonym for 'inquisitor'? I mean, my relevant D&D experience was admittedly quite some time ago, and I've never played in a game with a paladin character, so I don't know how common this behavior actually is, but – holy crap, is it ever common in these stories. What is so difficult to understand about 'does not kill the innocent, regardless of who or what they may be'?
I love how some DMs take the whole "nat 20" thing WAY too far. Like, sure, 9th level spells are powerful, but a 5% chance to completely destroy an entire plane of existence on a whim seems excessive.
"He thlammed his penith on the table"
That so-called paladin was trash and I'm glad the DM had the spine to punish him accordingly.
Okay! Story #1 has me very concerned, especially since the problem player is like REALLY intent on hitting and flittering with his sister…..😕…..I want to say he should talk to someone about this but I feel like I'm reading to much into it, but I also feel even more concerned especially with the sister not being harsher in telling her brother to quiet it. Even if she thought her bros flirts and whatnot were joking, its still a weird and creepy thing that would make me feel uncomfortable.
Also I have a strong no alcohol rule at my table. i have seen TOO many problems that come from it, that I put right say no when the mention of beer or wine, or anything else I'd even suggested.
Why did nobody call this weirdo our ages ago?
“Your obsession with this character is weird already, the fact that its your sister makes it weirder. Your joke will not land, it will never land even if you succeed. This is embarrassing and you should be ashamed.”
Loved the way the last story ended. I was sitting here, saying, "…and his own God would smite him down the second he tried to harm an innocent, if not making him completely powerless the second he revealed his judgemental, xenophobic nature…" and bam! Dude gets smote. Love it!
First Story: is anyone else seeing red flags? Because i am seeing less red flags in Communist China? And i wrote this before the pecker came out. I am thinking this is more than just flirting with his sister's charecter, and maybe is into some sis con. He needs therapy. If he comes back in the game, its after he gets a therapist.
2nd story: love it when the ones that say you should grow up cannot act like a grown up. This is noob behaveior and not newb behavior.
3rd story: i hate these lawful stupids! I get it, racism is a thing, and that is half the point of playing a teifling is to battle the injustice of it all. But Paladin's antics are just baffling. Also why didn't he dod the detect good and evil thing paladins get? If nothing else but to prove a point, and have that backfire completly. This is…just…bull. it was justified for him to get kicked, but i am guessing this had gone on long enough for the DM to need to talk privatly with him
I love how narrativly the last story played out. As we all know the thing that defines Paladins besides being a generic sword user class, is the fact that they pledge to a God and often have to be morally good people. SO when this Paladin begins harrassing a player who's a friendly Tiefling Cleric, very poetic that when he eventually goes too far and tries to murder her, he's forsaken by his God who kills him and revives the Tiefling Cleric. Very poetic.