Your health journey is all your own. I’m Annette Leonard of https://www.annetteleonard.com find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theannetteleonard
Several things made me think about this topic. I recently was talking about my friend Amy. She died almost exactly a year before I got my diagnosis of Pulmonary Fibrosis. She was waiting for her lung transplant and when she passed she was a frail shadow of herself. Also, my mom died with complications of several of the autoimmune diseases that I have.
It’s so easy — especially when we have a difficult or unfamiliar diagnosis, to lean on Dr Google, or other peoples’ experiences and let those things coopt our imagination about our illness and I think that can have some disastrous and unintended consequences.
The Google will tell you that my life expectancy is 3 – 5 years. Well, here I am 9 years later. While many things COULD have led to my demise — but tuning that out and walking my own path has been crucial. As a reforming people pleaser, as someone who values information, it’s easy to be captivated by the stories people share about anyone they know who may have had something similar to what I have, how that’s gone, what’s worked, what remedies they’ve tried.
Sometimes, hearing those stories can contribute to the sense that I’m doing it wrong, or add to the sense that “this is going poorly and I’ve already made the wrong decisions.”
Having done this for a while and having learned how to BE EMBODIED in this experienced: doing body scans, checking in with my thoughts and feelings, knowing when something’s changed. I’m the best person to asses what’s going well and when it’s time to make a change. No, it isn’t fun, it takes a lot of effort to tune in like that, to advocate for myself, to coordinate with my docs and insurance companies, but it’s the only way to take control of my health.
When I start thinking “well, she said that by this time next year things got really bad…” then I’m initiating a slew of chemicals that will lead to anxiety, fear, pain, or being addicted to my own catastrophes. Perhaps those things will happen, but perhaps they won’t. But, the only guarantee is that I’ve robbed myself of this present moment.
The idea of suffering is terrifying. I’m not trying to pretend it isn’t. There is fear and anguish. But there are tools. Whether it starts with a contemplative practice, journaling, or noticing what’s happening to find a skilled therapist. There are ways to keep my fear of the future from enjoying the present. This journey is YOURS ALONE, from the small to the large. But no amount of today is improved by me fixating on how bad it’s going to get.
Notice when you get hooked, when you start to borrow trouble. If you don’t have tools, skills, or support about making change in that area, it might be time to get some.
Let us know how you’re making your journey your own.
This is the Chronic Wellness Podcast. I’m Annette Leonard, speaker, coach, and sick person who believes that my illnesses do not define me. If health is the absence of disease and wellness is the presence of wholeness, then no matter what your disease status, we can work toward your wellness, your wholeness.
Whether or not you are ever “healthy” on paper, you can be well. Join me and others on the path back to wholeness at AnnetteLeonard.com. Whether you are a person experiencing chronic illness or are someone who loves or serves people with chronic illness I have great resources here on this channel or on my website for you.
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:::::slowly exhaaaaaling:::::
Sincerely, thank you for this.
❤