Ten years ago, at the tender age of 21, Brian needed professional help. He’d been severely bullied as a child, and the messages his father modeled about masculinity didn’t help Brian understand himself or accept his homosexuality. As a tormented young adult, Brian turned to drugs and pornography in futile efforts to escape his depression. A good therapist would have recognized that Brian had a lot to unpack, and made it a priority to help him get off of the drugs that were clearly wreaking havoc on his health and mental clarity. Unfortunately, Brian didn’t have a good therapist; he had… a “gender therapist.”
Brian’s therapist didn’t challenge his drug use, unpack his internalized homophobia, or address his childhood trauma. Instead, she led him deeper into the delusion that he was really a woman trapped in a man’s body, an idea he had gotten from pornography during a very dark time in life. She made dangerous and destructive false promises that taking cross-sex hormones would magically resolve his drug addiction and suicidal ideation. She told him that his body’s own natal hormones were “poison.” Brian even felt that his therapist instilled a sense of urgency, indicating that if he didn’t transition as quickly as possible, he would feel worse, and that taking these life-altering medical steps was the only way to remedy his despair.
Social and medical transition were never right for Brian. He was simply a gay man with depression, trauma, and addiction issues, who was overwhelmed by his problems, and didn’t know what narrative to ascribe to them other than what people on the internet led him to believe during a particularly dark time. He knows this now, and has a good therapist, thank heavens. But a year after making the decision to detransition, his body is still in the process of ridding itself of pregnancy-high levels of female hormones.
At times we go into graphic detail, so this episode may not be suitable for all listeners. This is heavy stuff to listen to, but I hope that Brian’s courage in opening up so candidly is helpful to anyone who can relate to his experience, or who cares about the issues impacting people like Brian.
Brian is a native Californian who had the misfortune of getting wrapped up in drug abuse and gender ideology in his early 20s. Upon getting off drugs, Brian realized he was not trans, and learned to accept himself as a gay male. Brian has decided to speak out about his experience, in the hope of saving somebody from making the same mistakes. You can follow him on Twitter @BriWag91.
Today’s episode addresses the painful topic of gender malpractice. Brian is one of numerous people I have interviewed on this show who has been horrendously mistreated by the mental and medical health professionals that were responsible for his care. If you’re familiar with my work then you know I am passionate about this issue. What you may not know is that I am actively working on developing other resources for detransitioners like Brian. On my blog you will find letter exchanges with detransitioners and an invitation to participate in these types of exchanges with me, toward the creation of a self-help book I am writing for survivors of gender malpractice. You will also find information about how to file a complaint about a “gender-affirming therapist” if you have been harmed. Please check out these projects and more resources for survivors of gender malpractice on my blog at sometherapist.com/read.
Links:
Blog: https://www.sometherapist.com/read
Detrans Survival Guide: https://www.sometherapist.com/read/my-new-book-project-and-a-call-to-action
How to File a Complaint About the Fraudulent ‘Gender-Affirming’ Therapy That Harmed You: https://www.sometherapist.com/read/file-a-complaint
Twitter for Brian: @BriWag91
The Transition Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheTransitionChannel
If you enjoyed this conversation, please rate & review it on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Share this episode with a friend, or on social media. You can also head over to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, comment, & share there as well.
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MUSIC: Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. www.joeypecoraro.com
PRODUCTION: Thanks to Eric and Amber Beels at DifMix.com
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Yes most transwomen are interested in women, cuz they're straight men with a fetish
Yes, completely agree with Brian that the preventive measures we need to take to help kids are one) get them off social media, like entirely, and two) get them involved in some kind of hobby that does not involve a screen and preferably one that is physical or outdoors, but even if they don't like those kinds of things, having them get involved with a creative hobby is good too. Just something to get them, like Brian said, out of their mind and into their body, to allow their brains to relax bc that's the one thing constant bombardment of social media will not allow.
Thank you for this. There is great concern that detrans people are being used by religious extremists. This thing is getting more heated by the week and your channel is appreciated.
And, Dude, you look great!!
This is an Egregore Not Evolution
There are no comparable historical past. We have surgeries, drugs, internet. This is 100% a new human experience and for humanity’s sake
Let’s slow this down
This is an Egregore not Evolution!
And Egregore’s don’t give a flying freak about those who believe in it. (Egregore: thought form/group mind). This Egregore is formidable! Not to be taken lightly.
We cannot allow Hotmone Ghettos to caste detrans into.
YouTube needs more of these detransition stories to prevent these horrific outcomes.
My question: When kids are bullied at school, where are the parents? Believe me, if my child was bullied, it wouldn't happen more than once.
Wow. Plenty to digest here. . Thanks for sharing Brian . Peace be with you.
He seems like he’s on the right path. Hopefully he can “like” lose the valley girl accent.
If I was a profiler, how Brian describes his younger self would fit the typical profile for someone going through this, have heard so many people relate this history online now – reinforcement of stereotypes during childhood, resulting trauma and dissociation, massive confusion and aberrant behaviour/suicidal ideation as they try to resolve the issues, not finding a suitable therapist. And he even recognises that had he got into some healthier activities, taking him away from the online environment and doing some physical exercise, he would have been in a better frame of mind. He might even have met up with the group of gay guys to be friends with earlier to help him realise how he really felt about himself and his own sexuality. Parents who impress stereotypical behaviour on their children are not doing them any favours, the child is their own separate person and not a means of the parents reliving their lives. And children need to be reassured that what they can achieve in life is not dependent on what they look like. Wish Brian all the best, he has been through a lot. Let us hope that with wider understanding of these issues, people will not be pushed to extremes in order to recognise themselves in the mirror.