LYRICS
Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!
It was a Saturday night,
And I was hungry for a snack.
I got out of the bed,
Trying not to pinch my sack.
That’s a common problem,
That a lot of men face.
Unless you got castrated,
Or are a basket case.
Wait, where was I? Oh yes,
Going down to get some grub.
And what did I see,
But a great big hairy bub!
It had big-ass claws,
And a long, toothy snout.
Tall, pointy ears,
And its body quite stout!
I looked a little closer,
What else did I see?
That furry bastard,
Eating my panini!
Honey! That fuckin’ werewolf,
Is stealing food from our fridge again!
I’m gonna go grab my shotgun,
With a side of wolfsbane!
It better put that panini down,
Or it will taste my fury!
I’ll tear it a new asshole,
And send it back to Missouri! (I know that’s where it came from!)
She can’t hear me at all,
Cause she’s taking a bath.
And now I’m on my own,
To show this fucker my wrath!
So I grab my sidearm,
And a pinch of aconite.
That’s another word for wolfsbane,
I was being fancy, alright?
I stood in the kitchen,
With rage in my eyes.
And as it downed my leftovers,
I let out my battle cries!
And said “Hey, you fuckin’ werewolf
Stop stealing food from our fridge again!
Fine, then, here’s my shotgun,
And a side of wolfsbane!”
“You better put that panini down,
Or you will taste my fury!
I’ll tear you a new asshole,
And send you back to Missouri! (I know that’s where you came from!)”
Then it glared at me,
With bright, piercing eyes.
Curled its lip,
To show its pearly whites.
It foamed at the mouth,
As it prepared to lunge.
That’s when I took a shot,
But wait… oh fudge!
I wasn’t prepared,
And I started to quiver.
I completely forgot,
They needed to be silver! (SHIT!)
Honey! That fuckin’ werewolf
Is tearing me a new asshole!
The shotgun didn’t work out that time!
And now he tore my arms clean off, Oh!
Wait, that’s right, I forgot,
She can’t hear a fuckin’ thing!
‘Cause she’s wiping down her coochie,
While the werewolf ripped off my ding-a-ling (That’s means my dick!)
Lyrics by me, music by A.I.
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