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With Rebel Moon, Zack Snyder has done the impossible: He’s proven Kathleen Kennedy right about something. Part One: A Child of Fire is an embarrassing mess of a movie, and Part Two somehow manages to be even worse.
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*Timestamps*
PART ONE:
AE Housman vs Zack Snyder Diss Track: 00:00 – 04:50
Part One: Asses of Fire: 04:51 – 09:23
Horrible History: 09:24 – 13:35
Vaguely Norse Space People: 13:36 – 20:00
Hungry Hungry Space Nazis: 20:01 – 29:38
Anthony Robotkins: 29:39 – 39:35
The Call to Adventure: 39:36 – 45:34
Rescuing Rosie: 45:35 – 51:50
Kora is Not a Character: 51:51 – 01:05:40
Arcane & The Art of the Flashback: 01:05:41 – 01:09:00
Some Sort of Gay Clown Apparently: 01:09:01 – 01:19:05
Discount Solo etc: 01:19:06 – 01:22:06
Hunk Mowgli & the Hippogriff: 01:22:07 – 01:29:13
The Acolyte vs Spider Queen: 01:29:14 – 01:35:24
Magical Flashback Princess: 01:35:25 – 01:39:50
Gladiator II: Maximus Decimus Boogaloo: 01:39:51 – 01:44:57
Rebels on Leviticus: 01:44:58 – 01:55:55
Discount Solo Does a Lando: 01:55:56 – 02:01:30
Worst Scene in Part One: 02:01:31 – 02:07:40
Drunken Punchup At A Bespin: 02:07:41 – 02:14:50
He Vadered!: 02:14:51 – 02:16:55
PART TWO:
Part Two: Lobotomy Scar-Giver: 02:16:56 – 02:31:34
The Grain Melange: 02:31:35 – 02:43:00
There Are Still No Characters: 02:43:01 – 02:46:20
One of the Worst Scenes Ever: 02:46:21 – 02:58:50
Clarkson’s Farm Season 4: 02:58:51 – 03:07:00
Knitwear = Character Work: 03:07:01 – 03:13:45
Part One Isn’t Broken Enough: 03:13:46 – 03:20:13
Completely Inexcusable Writing: 03:20:14 – 03:29:35
Anthony Robotkins is a Doomer: 03:29:36 – 03:34:39
Military Strategy 101: 03:34:40 – 03:38:54
A Diplomatic Solution: 03:38:55 – 03:43:19
Aggressive Negotiations: 03:43:20 – 03:47:02
A Pointless Person Dies Pointlessly: 03:47:03 – 03:53:10
Giant Heads & Coal-Powered Ships: 03:53:11 – 04:03:22
Robotkins Ex Machina: 04:03:23 – 04:07:08
Star Wars & Final Battles: 04:07:09 – 04:13:35
Gooner Dies, Oh No: 04:13:36 – 04:16:50
Oh Btw the Princess Lives: 04:16:51 – 04:22:16
Conclusion: This Is F***ing F***ed: 04:22:17 – 04:27:46
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Use my link https://www.displate.com/littleplatoon or use my code LITTLEPLATOON to access my special promo on all designs 1-2 -> 32% OFF 3+ -> 37% OFF 4+ 42% OFF. Available until 27/05/2024. Discount applied automatically at check out when using my link, (excl. Limited Editions, Lumino and Textra)
This video is technically still in copyright hell and Netflix are trying to strike me down. Catch it while you can!
Your video essay was entertaining and enjoyable, unlike Rebel Moon. BTW: I know of no other YouTuber that goes to such lengths to take BS-movies apart. Thx for the effort 🙏
Thank you for being so merciless. It’s immensely entertaining, and Snyder no longer deserves any mercy.
Hmm. A long 1.
That Renato Zero cameo was fire
Zack Snyder doesn't know how to multiply by ten. Just add a zero on the end! That might be the stupidest thing I ever heard…
It took 3 days but I did it. Watched the complete 4.5hr review of 2 x 2hr movies. Epic!
"The villagers are trained in the basics of sword-play"… Is that the pitch script for a porn movie ?
Evil Lloyd is a better nickname.
Rebel moon is part of zack Snyder dceu 😂
Bicentenial eagle reminds me when me and my RPG friends used to drive our DM crazy by coming up with dozens of variations of [unit of time][bird] every time he tried to give us a spaceship.
Lost it at the Countdown music.
I think, Little Platoon, you’d have been a hoot to attend graduate school with…You’re literally the 21st Century’s version of Arnold’s CULTURE AND ANARCHY, calling the tragically risible Philistines out for what they are, and making me smile as you do it. Bravo! Keep at it!
I don't remember anyone saying the villagers were luddites, I don't even think it was implied. They have some tech they just don't have combine harvesters or anything. I assumed they just liked living as they do but who knows.
And I'm surprised no one said this was basically just a retelling of 7 Samurai.
I'd say the meme that there's literally furry porn that's better written and more interesting than this entire movie, but that's unfair to this movie, furry porn tends to be all about character even when not written all too well, so honestly there's no comparison between furry porn and Rebel Moon, the furry porn vastly out classes it.
Won't watch the movie, but I will watch a double featurelength review that is twice as entertaining
"Intergalactic OJ" is underrated
Serious question – if gay guys consider space twink attractive, and he’s basically a girl, why be gay at all? Clearly femininity is desirable even to gay guys.
how much shorter would the movie be if all the slow mo shots were sped up to normal speed?
I personally can't get over how the King looks like Michael Palin in a silly outfit.
I really like your content… This video has more in common with the length like two extended edition lotr DVDs or an adult film stars affects. It just so incredibly large. Like I feel like I won't like myself listening to you point out 4hrs of shite and painful shite. Your not wrong, but your 4 hours long. It's 2024 that's a long-term relationship.
I'd be interested in platoons attempt to save/rewrite this mess.
That is a griffon 🤣
I need a copy of this script, I bet I could make something halfway useable out of it even after an entire bottle of scotch XD
Thank you for adding a Jeremy Clarkson cut scene.
We have managed to sit through ~15 minutes of this – movie. Every minute hoping "All right, now it starts making sense.", but no – it does not.
It's digging its hole deeper and deeper and we had to turn it off. And I am not some movie snob, I sometimes enjoy a "bad" movie for its funny side, action or some other good aspects that I can find, but this was just dumb.
4:03:00 … someone show Zack the footage of a Leopard battle tank balancing a stein of beer on it's cannon barrel while the tank speeds through uneven terrain at full speed, with little to no spillage because the stabilising system for the cannon is just that good.
That is for a box of metal that can shoot stuff. Yet we are supposed to believe a spaceship that can move at insane speeds and is capable of providing living conditions for lots of people relies on handcranks to aim their weapons … ach, Zack, never change.
Seriously though, the lack of thought and just, dunno, real world exposure this muppet shows with his 'stories' is ridiculous.
3:04:30 Utter verbal wankery. Self justification of the highest order. Translated: I did it cos I liked it. And I think it makes my stuff look cool.
Lets be fair grain had a character development so grain was the main character
The man should be proud, he did a worse job of it than the star wars sequels.
While I agree that Snyder is a truly abominable hack, my Laconophilia originally owes its' existence to 300, which is easily one of my all time favourite films; even if, within said cinematic pantheon, its' immediate neighbour is Battlefield Earth. I can appreciate farce, both intentional and otherwise. While 300 may also be ridiculous logically, (for which Frank Miller deserves just as much blame as Snyder himself) subsequent reading has nevertheless convinced me that in purely emotional terms, 300 actually captured Sparta perfectly.
Do look up Plutarch and Xenophon's material on Sparta if you haven't already, TLP. I know you'd appreciate it. I have very few more adamant beliefs, truthfully, than that Sparta deserves remembrance.
"Go tell the Spartans, passerby; that here, by Spartan Law, we lie."
I’m just now realizing how much like a bug’s life this movie is. I mean, write down the bad guys want to eat all the grains and so the hero hast to get warriors to help defend the damn home.
Until the studios learn their lesson, they will keep on making loser movies like this. I guess they have not lost enough money to learn their lesson. No one watches this garbage. I haven't watched any of these movies, they are so bad.
Bro it would take me less time to watch both movies than to sit here for 4 hours and listen to you drone on about absolutely nothing. Is the movie good or bad? That's all people care about
Your four and a half hour apology for overly criticizing Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is accepted, Little Platoon. Just don't do it again.
Belisareus – history has him as one of the finest generals of the byzantine empire, tasked by Emperor Justinian with retaking the falen western roman empire. He is also notable for being the most loyal and honerable general, possibly ever. He maintained order within his army to a higher standard than any general untill the modern era, there was no indiscriminate looting permitted, there was no raping permitted. Of course they still happened, he punished the perpetrators harshly and his armies *stayed loyal*.
I would advocate for the gay clown to have been fed alive to Buckbeak, but I'd be worried about Buckbeak getting food poisoning as a result.
If you type in 'Kora' into Google, it gives you the instruments. If you type in 'kora character' it assumes you misspelled 'Korra' and gives you nothing but Last Airbender suggestions. This is how this sadly underdeveloped 'character' will be remembered by cinema history.
It doesn't take much to satisfy a sci-fi fan. A basic tale is enough usually. A character you will to succeed in a world you want to exist in filled with technology working to its own rules consistently.
Cool visuals and pant stainingly exciting battles are a garnish; the strawberry on the ice cream. This film is just half a scoop of vanilla served in an expensive cup covered in fake 'generic fruit topping'.
Coal…powered ship…coal, like that thing you burn…with oxygen…that's limited in essentially flying submarine…Jesus
I hope the Snyder cut has a scene at the end where they spread Gooner's ashes and then Korra waits around till everyone leaves and sniffs the soil.
With a real director and a real producer this could have been a massive space fantasy franchise. Unfortunately they got Zack. Shit happens
So good! You and Mauler are the best!
That munching kid is great. Much more interesting to watch than this pair of "films".
I am obligated to point out they stole peaky nazi swag. He went from Hugo boss to target and that is the real crime of this movie.