Ranking EVERY Item in TF2 Worst to Best



Boy, I’ve really been stretching my videos out to hit the 8 minute mark.
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Chucklenuts: https://www.youtube.com/c/Chucklenuts
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Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:42 Bad Weapon Heck
20:53 Sea of Mediocrity
35:37 Good Weapon Heaven
53:28 Ascendant Plane
1:11:45 Eternal Expansion

Featuring guest appearances from:
https://www.youtube.com/c/CyberWizardtf2
https://www.youtube.com/c/BrickiestBrick
https://www.youtube.com/c/GreatBlueHeron
and of course my good friend Eminem!

Clips used:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_e7jUfvt-I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8ACyHYsb6Q&t=1356s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_iTXrMGmO0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlZHxl2gFkY
Beggar’s Enjoyer (watch Yup Kup!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmaWSyNW-40&t=124s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruSjI7r1sO0

Music used (in order):
Doom OST – E1M5 – Suspense
In Rainbows 8-bit [FULL ALBUM]
Nine Inch Nails – Closer CHIPTUNE SEGA Remix
Volcano Theme – New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Undertale OST – sans
Simmering Lava Lake Theme – Super Mario 3D World
Mount Volbono [8 Bit] – Super Mario Odyssey
GCN Mario Circuit – Mario Kart Wii
Waterworld – Shop
The Real Slim Shady – Eminem (FULL MIDI VERSION)
Zora’s Domain – Night (The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild OST)
Donkey Kong Country – Aquatic Ambience
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze – Funky Waters
Kirby Air Ride Rainbow Resort
Tourist Trophy – TT Mode Menu Music (Far East)
Donkey Kong Country – Stickerbrush Symphony
G-Police – Mission_Flight Music 9
Battle Assault 3 Featuring Gundam Seed Track 5 theme
Chris Christodoulou – Disdrometer Risk of Rain 2 (2020)
Radiohead – Idioteque (Super Mario 64 Remix)
Stardew Valley OST – Summer (Tropicala)
Lor Starcutter – Kirby’s Return to Dream Land
TOCA 2 Touring Cars Soundtrack – Menu Theme
Creative Exercise – Mario Paint
Dead End – 13 28 – Ace Combat 2 Original Soundtrack
Silent Hill 2 OST – White Noiz
Mirror’s Edge [Music] – Ropeburn (Ambience)
Final Fantasy I ost – Victory

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28 thoughts on “Ranking EVERY Item in TF2 Worst to Best”

  1. Notes while watching:
    The Razorback and Darwin's being so far down is crazy mode. Countering an entire class is powerful enough as it is, but doing so passively is even greater.

    Calling the the YER a "fun" weapon made me scowl. Calling the Pomson a "fun" weapon made me frown.

    The Shahansha (not going to bother spellchecking that) can technically 1-shot a Soldier with a crit, but since when is a Soldier who made it to a Sniper's perch at full health? 195 damage is just as good as 200+ damage at that point.

    The Solemn Vow and Amputator should switch places on this list because telling your pocket how much damage they need to do is powerful enough to warrant replacing the Ubersaw in a lot of cases.

    The Pistol and Eureka Effect are crazy under-ranked on this list. The Stock Wrench and the Southern Hospitality are basically the same item, and yet they are placed in different tiers entirely. Made me pout and cross my arms.

    The placement of the Stock Sniper Rifle and the Jarate is some goofy monkey doo doo. If I went through the effort to make my own list, I would probably say the top 5 items in TF2 are: Jarate, Medi Gun, Sniper Rifle, Bazaar Baragain, Stickybomb Launcher. But your list is drastically different, so it made me piss and cry.

    Reply
  2. 11:55 "Walk away, that's right TheWhat, y'know why i didn't like the rank? Beacuse it's too, LOW! I don't think it's should be, it's NOTHING to me! You can't concieve of what i'm capable of! I'M SO FAR BEHIIND YOU!! I'M LIKE A GOD IN HUMAN CLOTHING, SAPPERS PLACE OUT OF MY BARE HANDS!!

    …"

    Reply
  3. I can’t believe you ranked that at 31 TheWhat!!! That is the most powerful and highest damage output of any primary and should be a top 5 without question! Please double check your Notes and ranking for it

    Reply
  4. I think it says a lot about the playstyle variety TF2 offers that weapon lists this long can have a weapon placed super low just for it to be somebody else's favorite weapon that is integral to how they play the game. And I'm not just saying that because I spent $2.00 to strangify my Classic.

    Reply
  5. I'd say the solemn vow is better than the ubersaw, if you're using the quick-fix, or vaccinator and is equal to ze ubersaw, if you're using the kritzkrieg, since getting in melee range of people just doesn't feel right for me as a medic and seeing enemy health is I'd say, very nice for those across the map or finishing crossbow shotz.

    Reply
  6. My take on Spy weapons:
    – The cloak and dagger is easily Spy's 2nd watch, and essentially a straight upgrade on certain maps. The ability to choose when to decloak is seriously underrated, but it's something only a good spy can take advantage of…
    – The dead ringer is pretty mid. Takes way too long to recharge nowadays (I'd rather have this than the spammable old version, though). It does cover the weaknesses of the big earner and kunai pretty well, so it pairs well with those, and the l'etranger can recover cloak, which makes it more usable. But you lose out on the best positioning tool in the game… It's the best watch for gunspy, though.
    – The revolver is seriously underrated. At close-mid range, if your aim is decent, the bullet spread is negligible, the damage is great, and so is the firing speed. The enforcer is only better in very niche situations and the amby is only slightly better if you're an aim god. Would put right below the l'etranger.
    – The kunai is amazing, but it's inconsistent. 70 health makes you way too easy to kill by a stray rocket or pipe. Stock is just consistent. Sure, stabbing someone won't make you tankier than a soldier for a few seconds, and it won't turn you into sonic, but it gets the job done without having to sacrifice that sweet 125 hp.

    Reply
  7. BEST ITEMS FOR EVERY CLASS ACCORDING TO TheWhat Show:
    SCOUT

    1-SCATTERGUN

    2-PRETTY BOY'S POCKET PISTOL

    3-BOSTON BASHER

    SOLDIER

    1-ROCKET LAUNCHER

    2-GUNBOATS

    3-MARKET GARDENER

    PYRO

    1-FLAME THROWER

    2-SHOTGUN/DETONATOR

    3-POWERJACK

    DEMOMAN

    1-IRON BOMBER

    2-STICKYBOMB LAUNCHER

    3-EYELANDER

    HEAVY

    1-TOMISLAV

    2-SANDVICH

    3-FISTS OF STEEL

    ENGINEER

    1-SHOTGUN/RESCUE RANGER

    2-WRANGLER

    3-JAG

    MEDIC

    1-CRUSADER'S CROSSBOW

    2-VACCINATOR

    3-UBERSAW

    SNIPER

    1-BAZAAR BARGAIN

    2-JARATE

    3-BUSHWACKA

    SPY

    1-DIAMONDBACK

    2-INVIS WATCH

    3-KUNAI

    4-SAPER
    (I'm a pathetic person)

    Reply

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