Abuse is all Njoki knew for a long, so when she started confusing love for it, there was no way anyone could judge her. She stayed in places she shouldn’t and loved people she had no business loving.
On this episode of LNS, she walks us through her life growing up in an abusive environment , the words she will never forget from her mother in law, the friend who never gave up on her, how she came out and why her children will never have to go through what she went through . Gentle parenting to her is a must and not an option
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Thanks Lynn for this awesome girl and your own-self. You two looks absolutely amazing in your natural selves plus those stylish outfits.
Lynn allow me to address Njoki's issue first then back to you at the tailor end. I affirm both of you on the here and now.
Njoki you are my daughter's age-mate and for sure I have felt you 100%. I can only imagine the journey you were to travel to reach here. Unlike you, your father and your situation, mine is different. I am a proud father of two sons and two daughters, 3 married, one yet to get hitched. I can assure you that I equally loved and still love all my kids to pieces. They love me back too to this day. I am a jealous father, was intentional in bringing my kids up and purposeful in making their future life a success. Unfortunately, my mother suffered same fate like your mother did. Infact she also lost all her front teeth courtesy of my father's drunken state back in 60s. That's the point I made a decision, I will never drink till I die; I will never touch my wife, abuse or insult her. I will love and be there for my kids till they marry off or marry in.To this day I live in peace Lynn. Njoki my daughter, I am happy that you made that decision on time before it was too late. Just curious though, do you think the statement your mother in-law made on the knife was in bad faith or a genuine premonition? My view is, maybe she meant well for you. I could be wrong but nonetheless, God loves you and your children. The fact that you went for therapy and practising self-care at the core is a good thing. Things happen and maybe that's how God purposed your life to pass through as an experience and things a head shall be better. I pray that your life a head be much more better than your past. Finally Njoki, be intentional in breaking that generational curse if any at all.
Lynn, like I have always reminded you just like I do to your loyal fans, let these kind of stories impact you beyond the sad aspect of it. Your guest's stories are meant to tell others, indeed they are not alone in their suffering. Secondly, these stories awakens listeners to know that there is help out there incase they are in danger. Thirdly, coming to Lynn Ngugi or anyone's public show, in itself is therapeutic. If you are suicidal guys, reach out to Lynn show and I assure you that by sharing, healing starts happening.
Lastly, when you listen to this kind of stories, do not condemn, judge or lament, but help the victim process or heal. All of us have run short of the glory of God and indeed each one of us commit atrocities or mistakes of different types only that at some point we never realise we are hurting/messing others.
May I appeal to all of us to practice a very high degree of Empathy and love to each other. Njoki, we all love you and I assure you things are going to end well for you in Jesus name.
Mmmm, this was heavy to hear. May God bring a good man in this woman's life. ❤❤
Inspirational and breaking at the same time, God grant you your wishes lads
For better for worst but you don’t stay and die
What a nice Lady Njoki! God bless you and Lynn too.
The fact that i can relate with her when she says they would hear their father coming and your life stops i felt that my dad abuses us emotionally and he thinks that makes him powerful sometimes we just sit with my mum and wish the worst not that we are bad people but because of peace like i remember i was in college but when time for going home comes i just wish that there should be no night because of the the thigs going at home but i have come to understand someone has to stand up and do something just like she did when her father wanted to beat her and its high time parents understand the pain they are causing their children because of child hood trauma like she said many are suffering from trauma and they don't understand and unknowingly we pass it to our children and it becomes a generational cycle how bad the things trauma does to you i can never say i want that for anyone not only mentally but also physically most of use are suffering from diseases we don't know how we got them but that's pain showing itself just watching this story when i really needed it has given me hope that i am not alone thank you njoki and lynn for this i enjoyed it and i learned alot 🥰
These are my kind of vibes. I also had to unlearn traditional African ways of discipline and embrace gentle parenting. I do not beat/ spank or use physical pain to discipline my kids. We talk through it and use other forms of discipline like withdrawing their luxuries. My home is a safe space and i am a safe space, they need to be able to approach me and discuss any topic with me.
Mother in law, love her she was trying to open her eyes.
Wueeeeh, Njoki Mambo, here we are.
My father was not physically abusive but my mum caned me daily kind of venting her anger on me.
I am that child who people would ask "naleo haja chapwa"
I slso chapad my babies.
Now I know why.
Thanks for this great episode of rebuilding series.
Lynn your relevance is unmatched.
You are our therapist.
Aki 😢this is my story masaa ya shule ikihisha nilikua nashidwa naeda wapi sasa 😢 school was only my happy place goosh it's was tough
Hapo kwa gently parenting, I agree with you 💯 % unapologetically! Unfortunately, in our kenyan society, we've glorified beatings disguised as discipline to be something to be proud of especially in our schools system. Some teachers/ parents wanapiga watoto hadi you bruise and break their bones in the name of discipline nonsense! Let's call it, what it's: It's a traumatic; physical, emotional, and psychological abuse that needs to be dealt with in a full force of law in our courts. Hii gentle parenting isn't a white thing. My parents practiced the same. I only recall once in my entire life that my mum gave me 3 lashes of a feeble twigs in my back nikicheza draft that she kept warning me not to 🎉😂. She withdrew some privileges like 🍞 when I messed up. We ought to stop this nonsense that african kids are tough headed hence needs to be beaten. I am in USA and my kid's school don't practice this outdated corporal punishment, and my kids are amongst the best behaved in school and ni 100% full blooded Kenyans😂! The schools here in USA practice what we call positive reinforcement. If you behave well and do things right you get appreciated and you earn points, presents etc. Watu wa mahasira pelekeni kwenu. Sisi watu wa gentle parenting tuko na kwetu, just leave our kids alone 😔
Well in Njoki. Thank you for doing better now that you know better.
Now about “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” – Proverbs 13:24
This scripture did not mean beating to a pulp and traumatise or giving a near-death experience or killing. Let us not misconstrue the truth. Forms of discipline include speaking to the children, teaching, and correcting them. Where in the Bible do we see God saying beat the children, burn them, etc. It is not there. We need to unlearn these thngs.
I lack words 😢im at my early twenties very pretty inside my heart and outside but gone through hell in my relationship with a narsiccist…a drunkered man ,a manupulator and an abusive partner luckily i broke up and i was thinking of going back inorder to make things work but it seems it will never work i have already made a decision after watching this …I Will Never go back😢❤i will love myself first because ive overloved someone until ive lost value in him ….thanks Lyn ❤for this episode hugs to you too joki❤
i went through the same..you be the mboch of their house
I can relate this what I say is that #ipo siku🤲
Aiì ati si like unamuongelelea mzee wangu uuuhps the difference is mine haendangi church…people enjoy going home but me I will go 2day en the day after I'm off…😔😔😔
If you are looking for panelists to discuss parenting, consider calling Betty Adera. She has an interesting story and perspective on parenting
Someone once told me "vile huchapangi huyo mtoto siku moja ataja kuchapa wewe mwenyewe.." I wondered from where will he have learned people are beaten? He knows we solve issues by talking them out not fighting.
It's very important to trust God for the grace you be the one to break the negative cycle. Say NO! It won't go beyond me in being rediculed, rejection, criticism, abused, short changed, being lied on, and name it all. Break the cycle and say NO! Not beyond me! It stops here!
Trust God for the change and pursue the BLESSINGS!
I'm inspired ❤❤
If my dad was to die today, I'd only shed a tear just to stand with my mum but deep down in my heart, I'd be happy that my mum will finally start 'living' if there is a prayer that I silently utter is my mum to be the last to leave this world. We need time with her.
This man has not only emotionally abused us but in all dimensions.
I've watched this story with goosebumps. This has been my story but I thank God I'm now happy.
I would love also to be in the parental group,.
she is a beautiful intelligent lady
Most of those mother ni wachawi especially if their son ar having watawatenganisha na uchawi
I can relate to your story 100%. Thanks for coming out njoki and represent many of us out here
My mother to but I thank God she is on her;90 s I salute her
I wish someone talked to me about this when I was bringing up my children, because I know I've transferred my anger to them 😢😢😢
Salute to true friends like Esther n the few
GREETINGS LYNN! I LOVE WATCHING AND LISTENING TO YOUR EPISODES BECAUSE THE OUTREACH ARE EYE-OPENING CONTENTS AND IT'S A LEARNING TO ME; BECAUSE EACH AND EVERY STORY IT COMES WITH A LEARNING OUTCOME. "I CALL YOU OUR AFRICAN OPRAH" //YOUR SUPPORTER FROM MALMÖ IN SWEDEN
Njoki this is amazing you are soft spoken and well articulated
What a beautiful story Njoki. Thank you so much for Lynn for availing such a platform where we can hear, learn and unlearn alot of things.❤❤
A story is told in my family how my great-great grandmother had her teeth removed by her husband who accused her of laughing with other men. That would be the 1920s, and she endured beatings and humiliation. It's 2023, women are going through the same thing, l pray women like Njoki will decide enough is enough, it ends with us, normalize walking away from abuse not staying for marriage vows or children's sake but for your own sake. Imagine Njoki having to stand up for herself and her baby while her mum froze in fear😢😢💔 Someone has to say something at some point to stop this, if our mothers didn't speak not to offend abusers then we have to. Respect to Njoki ❤
Again, why do we drag God into this mess and give very religious reasons to stay abused. Marriage vows should never be the reason you end up dead, if the other person is not giving his 110%, then someone has already broken the vows, no point staying in a bad situation.
Lynn this story reminds me of my best friend in campus who never lived to tell her story after marriage to campus boyfriend and took her through hell. I still wonder what I could have done, but everything was so covered up, abuse wasn't obvious- my friend suffered a stroke during pregnancy and died of neglect, I have never recovered from this to date
The problem is marrying early
Njoki is a natural beauty 😍
No means no .kids this wold. Lny I to talk about this. I wanted 😂to talk obout buse when u toko talk, bt check out
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