Moving Beyond “Fair” to Build a Great Relationship with Nate and Kaley Klemp | Being Well Podcast



These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships.

On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and I are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other.

About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world’s largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.

Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:55 Nate and Kaley’s personal relationship as a basis for their work
5:30 Three different models of relationship
10:20 Two pillars to 80/80 – mindset and structure
12:15 How a 50/50 dynamic caused problems for Nate and Kaley
19:30 The conscious or unconscious division of roles
21:45 Gratitude and generosity
25:25 Parenting, shared success, and being on a team
31:50 Getting your partner’s buy-in, reveal and request
39:30 Underlying beliefs and power imbalances
44:20 Creating structure (and data) to have difficult conversations
49:30 Distinguishing a reluctant partner from an unwilling partner
52:00 Key skills that distinguish successful couples
56:20 Recap

Subscribe to Being Well on:
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-well-with-dr-rick-hanson/id1120885936
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1XY0fpdYNSEwXLVQ

Who Am I: I’m Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I’m making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.

You can follow me here:
🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com
📸 https://www.instagram.com/f.hanson

source

4 thoughts on “Moving Beyond “Fair” to Build a Great Relationship with Nate and Kaley Klemp | Being Well Podcast”

  1. I appreciate the tenets of this discussion and the cultivation of mindset and I would add heartset, or, as Rick says, how do I want to show up in this relationship. Sometimes, one partner becomes incapacitated–has a medical surgery, a health setback, or even an emotional spinout where the generosity mindset would be essential. It would be helpful to consider this in another podcast, to understand the contexts when this 80/80 construct simply cannot take place. For some, it means the end of the relationship, and for others, it is an opportunity for deepening of the relationship.

    Reply

Leave a Comment