Mail order brides are people too | The Dehumanization of Foreign Wives



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In today’s episode, we dive into a recent TikTok controversy that highlights the complex dynamics of cross-cultural marriages and the dehumanizing aspects of the “mail order bride” phenomenon. We explore a case where a man complains about his Filipina wife becoming “Americanized” after she left him, despite his wealth and material provisions. The wife’s response reveals his pattern of “behavior” that extended to her family. Through this story, we examine the historical context of international marriages, from colonial America to modern digital platforms, while unpacking crucial concepts like orientalism, exoticization, and the objectification pipeline that continues to affect women in these relationships.

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36 thoughts on “Mail order brides are people too | The Dehumanization of Foreign Wives”

  1. A lot of this reminds me of
    UCC= ‘Undesired Colonial Culture’

    Where people understand who was 1st eradicated, replaced and then occupied; the semantics of who started it, when they did this, and how is apart of the deconstruction of the American feudal system, a system to which the American majority vote for, uphold and then make romantic.

    I hate your channel; but every once and a while you do take off the rose colored glasses to share the Reality of Human-Trafficking and how closely it resembles illegal enslavement practices that which formed the American brand, society and identity.

    Details : Human Trafficked victim, working to understand the role of the Gen Z institutions in the already obliterated Alpha, Human “resource-economy” otherwise seen as “The Intercontinental Slave-American System”, publicly known as ‘IZAZ’ or ‘is-as’ system.

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  2. Their failure to treat mail order brides as humans perfectly justifies their brides cheating on them. Because having the morals not to cheat only applies to humans. If you don’t treat her like a human, then she is not morally obliged to stay true to you. She should find someone else who sees her as a human instead.

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  3. Yasss!
    Manifestelle has posted ❤❤
    I Adobe your Videos, hello besties!
    With Love from The Balkans
    And the 'mail ordering bride' scenarios are fucked up to the max.
    What did these children (men) expect?
    Knowledge is Power and these woman/women will probably Attain this knowledge when they start living in a more developed Country.
    Sorry girls for any grammar/grammatical errors.
    Men also (Americans) assume Eastern European/Slavic Women are more 'Docile' and traditional.
    They know nothing.

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  4. Another Slavic woman here (Russia)
    At first I just laughed at the sentiment about submissive Slavic and Asian women.
    Then I got somewhat angry at the lack of any desire to learn even the basics of the cultures
    And it’s just ‘bye, loser’
    Has been for a very long time

    And even I, who didn’t have any active social media (no Insta, no TikTok), get messages from PeePees!

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  5. My first trip to Thailand, I was stuck in a middle seat with an American guy who had been to Thailand 30 times with his buddy and was looking for wife #3. I didn’t know about MOBs before, but it all makes sense now. Ick ick ick.

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  6. Ugh, i hate those passport bros. It's always clear that they're not looking for a "traditional wife" with "good values". Instead they're looking for someone they can easily control and have piwer over. If women leave their home country, then they have no support group. And it's way harder for them to leave abusive relationships or return back to their home country.

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  7. Some people are making "exposing manifestelle" on YouTube, and some women agree with them. Backward progress for women just like pro lifers, Roe v Wade abolishers. Do what's best for yourself and not what "society"(hive mind) expects of you.

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  8. My cousin married a Malaysian women, he is not a passport bro and worships her. She is a gift to our family and is a wonderful person. It makes me sad that Westerners marry foreign women just to treat them like slaves

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  9. I’m Belarusian and have recently moved to Norway to live with my husband after 4 years of long distance.
    I guess karma is real, because I am finally appreciated, seen as a person and financially supported 🎉😁
    (After being objectified in 50/50 relationships by our guys). So I understand women who seek a partner from a less patriarchal country, and it is often not money.
    When I came to Norway to visit him and meet his family for the first time, some of his relatives thought I was a mail-order bride, and that we had met on the internet and I came to Norway straight away 🤣 (We first met in Belarus irl and went on dates) And I’d actually prefer to live in Belarus, but currently can’t go there due to the risk of getting arrested for political reasons 🥲

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  10. My neighbor growing up was a mail order bride. She was and is one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met, I babysat her kids a couple of times so I was in her house more than once. Hearing the comments her husband would make towards her and about other woman was one of the things that made me realize some men straight up see women as objects.

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  11. My uncle is one of these. His first wife was from Brazil, she left him because he was mistreating her (I was like 9 so I don't know the extent of it). His second wife was from Ukraine, she left him after like 8 years because he was just a complete jerk (again I don't know the full extent). I'm just glad both of them got their green cards because both, especially the woman from Ukraine (who I still talk to occasionally) are such lovely people and as far as I know they're doing well now, they're also making more money than him and I'm so here for it 😂
    But now he's seeking a woman in Moldova who's my age. And his most recent ex (American) was also my age. Super normal behavior.

    So you know, there's kind of a pattern here. There is a very specific sort of man who does this. My uncle is that sort of man and he is truly one of the worst people I have ever met in a dozen different ways.

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  12. As a daughter of a Filipino mail order bride, and growing up meeting tons of others of those (because they would naturally build a community), I can tell these women weren't primarily looking for love. It's all about the financial security, so don't portray it as if they're all innocent.
    And as someone deeply interested in history and feminism, you can't just throw around facts like the first "mail order brides" were free to choose like it's a good thing, like the were being progressive. For centuries, without a man a woman was nothing. So if she wasn't able to find someone who would want her, she was most likely a goner.

    May I remind you that up to the late 70s, women needed their husbands' permission to go to work.

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  13. Thank you for bringing up the children of these situations. As a daughter of one I’ve felt so confused and isolated most of my life because of the dynamics between my mother and father. Of course I got into an abusive and exploitative relationship as an adult. Looking forward to reading that book and if anyone has any other recommendations to read please share 🙂

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  14. Thank you for the free education, Elle! Always loving the well-researched videos.
    I think all this talk about "submission" should be viewed as what it is – a kink which you can say "I'm not into that" to. Because this "submission" really is either an unfulfillable fantasy that can be roleplayed or just a code word for "I take abuse and say nothing".

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  15. USA was built on dehumanizing all others. They didn’t even see black people as people. We were property and treated less than animals. It leaves behind a lot of stress in one’s DNA to decolonize oneself. I’m glad you did this video. Thank you for doing it from your lived experience. But since it’s based on humanity it transfer across so many lines.

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  16. Those type of men are so creepy, the lack of respect, empathy, emotional intelligence or maturity at their old age is just ugly, I’ve seen this so many times as a Slavic woman(I’m Polish), I could go on and on about it, I really feel bad for this lady and her children, if he objectifies her I Im sure this man is capable of mistreatment of his children as well, I hope she get full custody … this is so disturbing… These men need to get their minds right, women are not servant robots…

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