In this video, I’m going to answer the question that’s been haunting you once and for all…..’have I truly forgiven?’ and if so “why do I still get triggered…..
and help you overcome the biggest forgiveness myth holding back Christians today.
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You hit the nail on the head. I confided to a "Christian" that I had been sexually molested as a child many years ago. Her first response "Have you forgiven him?" I felt like the bad guy.
❤❤I have forgiven but that does not mean they are less than what they are and we’re all our marriage yrs! He cheated all those yrs and I took it! Shame on me for letting my children think it was okay! I wish nothing but good for all who hurt me but at the same time until they change it’s them and God and not me them and God! I wonder why we beat ourselves up so badly for what others do! My bookmark is: Vengeance is mine says the Lord and I will repay! He repays in so many ways! It’s not our deal though! ❤❤
Kriss this is really good stuff! This makes total logical sense. You always get very good solid advice and I think you're a very wise woman
Thank you Kris !
You make me smile
TY Kris, my husband and I left a fellowship after being abused and lied about. Initially we tried to resolve the issues with them but it only made things much worse. We were ostracized and talked about so we finally left. We received texts (never a phone call) about not walking in love. Looking back we saw all the red flags but we overlooked them. Occasionally we see one of the people who perpetrated things, we are cordial but just keep moving along. There was no willingness to retract their lies or even acknowledge them, so how could we reconcile? I do pray for them and the church, things like that have a way of catching up with people eventually and it's really not something I relish
Had this very conversation with God the other day, nice to hear the answer
❤❤❤❤
God
You can trust God ❤
I was once told that half of the congregation is there for the right reason and half are there to test us. If you look at it that way it helps not to be stumbled because those testers will have a worse judgment. Psalm 120:1-4 is good comfortong scripture. Also the testers can help us to be closer to God.
Thank you, very helpful as always. I love your videos, you get to the point & address my inner questions & pushback. I’m Jewish so no offense, I don’t align with the Jesus comments, doesn’t matter, respect that’s your religion, and I do appreciate the reminders to have faith in g-d & pray. bottom line, you have a clear concise message & really understand narcissism.
Question, let’s say I forgive an incident and then the person does something else…I forgave my SIL, accepted her apology, then she proceeded to act like I don’t exist at family gatherings, etc (zero eye contact, didn’t say hello (I would say hello)) and husband’s parents (SIL’s parents), keep coming to me for me to move on.
I now don’t trust her based of all her actions over last few yrs and struggle knowing if feelings or actions I have & do are co-dependent, people pleasing or just ‘normal’.
Why are u the Beautiful white woman of my dreams?
Do you have to have a relationship with them even though they have not apologized but you forgave?
Call no one teacher. Common sense, without even bringing up God, would better help those who haven't been Born Again yet.
You're supposed to be feeding the Sheep. Only Jesus can convert and save unbelievers, that's why he gave his life, but you already know that don't you.
Revelation states that everyone dies and are before his throne in heaven. It seems to me, people, Christians specifically, are the problem. "for man, it is impossible to enter the kingdom of heaven".
The final battle at Armageddon is between believers (wolves in sheep's clothing) against God. The Churches are building their army of ravenous wolves to war against God. But as hard as they may try to convert unbelievers into Christian wolves, they will fail, because, thankfully, Jesus, the Son, was already victorious. Therefore, He can change the outcome of the warning and shorten those days, so that not all flesh is destroyed. The bad news in doing this, is that anyone who still rejects the Truth at that time, will be cast immediately into the eternal fire, spiritually.
Jesus came to UNDO the works of the devil (1 John 3:8). While Jesus walked on earth, he healed people, raised the dead and calmed the storms, he sent his Apostles out to do the same. We could have undone ALL the works of the devil, that NO ONE would have to suffer again. So, why isn't the world perfect now as it should be?
No music please 👍
I really needed to hear this. Thank you!!
I am living this nightmare right now.
Sadly the body memories never go away.
Too many abusers I guess
I've done a year's counseling with a christian counselor. Many.
I've had interhealing and deliverance. EMDR
I don't know it never really heals completely or enough so I could be married
❤❤❤ and beautiful new cover photo. Keep helping others heal.
Nice one m8
I read or heard recently something like, “if thinking of the person who hurt you causes you to feel pain, then you haven’t really forgiven them”. I was like, “huh????”
I have been praying lately “Lord, I choose to forgive, and I plead Your blood over my FEELINGS about him”.
🤷🏻♀️I dunno
What else I can do about how I feel.
Forgiveness is no cheap grace.
We need to learn about how to treat forgiveness.
Thank you! I needed to hear this. For the longest time i couldn't answer the question, "have you forgiven him already?" I always say i don't know, i'm not sure. Because i'm still hurt, it still makes me angry. So thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for this video. There have been times when someone got on my rock so bad and so angry but even so I forgive that person. But the next day I'm still really agnortised and annoyed that when I prayed I ask God "if I have forgiven him then why am I still annoyed?" I thought those negative feelings go away once you've forgiven that perpetrator. But you explained those feelings can hang after you have forgiven.❤
"Come to me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest." I have found that when I cannot bear the memories etc, when I feel them, I ask the LORD to take them from me, and then I feel much better, and the "emotional spin" almost disappears. GOD bless.
I forgave in degrees…and truly some big hurts and early abuse have been fully let go of. Im aware that the scars are still there and tender to the touch so i dont put my self at risk. More recent wounds are forgiven but the "bookmarks" are there and can be triggered. I have recently gone back to my faith. Psalm 91 is my daily strenght. Prayer and meditation are my nourishment. I now feel worthy of God so even though i am triggered by callous actions of some disturbed charachters i know i can retreat to a "safe zone" where i know im loved more than i ever imagine. The Lord is my sheppard is my to go mantra. Thank you kris
They used to say "forgive and forget" (in the 80ies). As if those 2 went together in lockstep. And if you couldn't forget, then you were taxed as a bitter, resentful sinner. Like if your dad raped you when you were a kid, you should forgive and forget. There are less extreme examples of course. The fact is that the occurrence still remains and always will. You can't take it away that it did happen. And forgiving is futile, unless the perpetrator comes up to you and asks for forgiveness showing real regrets.
If no one asks for forgiveness, then there's nothing to forgive. As long as the guilty party doesn't own up to his/her harmful behaviour, you can't forgive someone who's not sorry, or just sorry sort of with no real change in attitude. The only person you can forgive is yourself if you feel it was your fault, because it wasn't your fault.
Forgiveness is not to be extended to those who are not repentant. It is also not for ourselves. Forgiveness is for reconciling a relationship and that can only happen when one party is sorry and the other forgive them, two sides of the same coin. Forgiveness pretended when someone is not sorry goes nowhere and does nothing, it is pretend. We are not bitter just because someone will not be sorry or desire to be forgiven. God tells us to treat people as unbelievers when they refuse to repent. We are not to remain friends with people who don't think they were wrong in their offenses.
This is brilliant! Legalism at it's best (aka worst) is "forgive & forget"…where is that biblical reference again? You would be an idiot to forget (I'm referring to abuse in particular)! God chooses to forget in Isaiah because HE IS GOD! We are not! This video is spot on, Kris! I love that you always refer to putting our faith & trust in God & not man! When people tell us to forgive & move on they are putting pressure on that person. Right here is the core issue – victimize the victim just a little bit more… hmm…sounds like the work of the enemy doesn't it! It would keep you bound to works rather than trusting in God! This video is SO timely & I'm learning SO much! Thank you God for setting me FREE🙌🏻🙏🏻
I love how she admited that you may never feel fuzy about the person. I think some of us christians rush so hard and fast to get a person to forgive that you invalidate the pain of the victim.
WE, OF FAITH, never 'move forward' ALONE. The forgivenss of heart is shown when we pray for those who 'hurt' us. That's one half of the FORGIVENESS thing… we have moved forward
when, even with gritted teeth, WE OFFER UP for this 'know not' of basic respect. BUT… our forgiveness will NOT change 'the one causing the problem.' We can try to subtly or bluntly telling of their actions…and that THEY resolve their issues with GOD. Not with us… CHANGE THEMSELVES WITH GOD. If they refuse to see their part in an issue of anger (or whatever) THE ISSUE REMAINS.
The TRIGGER is possibly GOD telling us TO KEEP PRAYING FOR THEM….because if they do not change, THEY WILL BE HURTING THEIR ETERNAL DESTINY. GOD is the eternal present… and
the only thing that hinders a person entering the ETERNAL PRESENT and GOD … a S-elf I-ndulgent N-ature. OUR FORGIVING THEM IN HEART is one half the problem resolved …the other
half is they WHO CANNOT SEE their ways. iF BROTHER doesn't listen, keep praying for.
Perfectly said.
Thank you so much dear Sister
True spiritual rebirth takes years and this is the only path plus the Cross. All mental solutions are illusions, including this mental video.
Just remember. Forgiveness does not remove consequences.
My pain is from childhood neglect. My sister follows my parents footsteps bringing back the horrible memories. My issues directly with my sister is how she is a conman and manipulator about her financial problems. She currently placed in assisted living by the state. She was honey dory about it until she found out they take her whole social security check. For years she complained about how small her check was. Her husband was alive at that time. Told her social security does not determine her husband disabled. He has to go work. What I figured out she was holding him back from working as a means to prove he could not work therefore should be determined disabled. Long story short he died before he could collect. Dismantled her scam.. 😊 she always cries telling me partial truths wanting money. I hold out because I know her game. She stresses me out because I help others out if it helps them to move on. In her case just enables her and strengthens her to ask for more money. She can work for encore 15 hrs a week. New scam is they will take her disability away. She blocked me when I called her out as a con man and lying with half truths that she will be held accountable when she has to meet the Lord. Also reminded her we 3 came from same family and walked away with a high school education. Only difference was life choices. She blocked me, thank goodness. I font want to hear from her because her conversations are always about her needing money. I have my own issues. Retired 4 yrs early due to a stroke. So we have our own financial struggles to manage. Good riddance. I don't need to be reminded of how my parents treated us as kids. Bottom line…you can't fix stupid. Glad she blocked me. She will lose my number eventually. I am still going through the chapters of life forgiving my parents now to forgive her.
Glory be to God🙏❤️ So much happiness and joy $47k weekly returns has been life changing. AWESOME GOD I now have a house and can now afford anything for my family even with my Retirement..
🖖Live long and prosper
You are so right! I had a car to donate and i found i had a book mark when God revealed He wanted me to give my used car to the very person i walked away from. But instead of leaving the unresolved issue from the past, book marked, God showed me how to resolve the unresolved issue by not repeating the same mistakes with the one who knows that I know. This time, I placed God first and He responded teaching me what to say and how to say it without using the language i rehursed. The Narcisist played the same victim card you pointed out but the out come was much better by removing the book mark to change me. Having a “form” of Godliness, yet being in “denial”denying the power thereof from such turn away from them. His son needed a good used car and i let his Dad, the Bishop, drive my car. I only highlighted compliments and made my peace with the Narcisist, and then he asked me a tough question that was not focused on receiving my free will offering, and the words i rehursed did not come but instead, I answered the Bishop saying, My business, is “MY BUSINESS.” (And I used a confident qiet tone of voice) and then i added, “but thank you for asking me.” And the book mark was removed. Then he reminded me to not to give him the silent treatment but to come visit having things to talk about asking if i would promise him and i smiled and aswered him not but shook hands as his Son drove us back to my home. And every time i visit this chapter i have a brand new book mark that resolved this issue in which i wanted to share in your comment section. I kept thinking he changed but the Lord said to me, “this Bishop has a form of Godliness and you did right Gregg, to seperate from him, and follow ME.” Every time i go back to this chapter in my story, the Lord high lights that I seek not honor from men,(the Narcisist), but from God only.
Thank you, Kris, for debunking those Internet answers on forgiveness. They were making me think that I was the problem.