I Rented a Raccoon to Simulate Having a Child



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Thanks to:
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39 thoughts on “I Rented a Raccoon to Simulate Having a Child”

  1. “All he wanted to do is hide under the table and eat Cheez-Its off the floor.”

    * flashback to my 3 year old self eating a McDonalds happy meal off the floor while sitting under my grandma’s kitchen table and pretending to be an ant *

    Seems legit.

    Reply
  2. I couldn't focus on anything William said when the Mark Rober music started and then he mentioned Mark Rober and it brought me back lol. Also, I hate those aggressive-sounding and finicky self-checkout machines. Why do they care so much about what I do with things I have already scanned?

    Reply
  3. I did this robot baby thing for one of my highschool classes, and yeah it was a lot harder then this. Woke me up every night at least 3 times and cries super loud, feeding sometimes took 20 minutes to do not to mentioned burping and fussing.
    With that being said I got a 99% on that assignment and I still don't really want kids.

    Reply
  4. 5:59 BRO stop killing your son: "Though raccoons are omnivores and can eat anything that humans do, they should not be allowed to eat chocolate because of the presence of theobromine and caffeine in this sweet treat. Raccoons cannot digest both of these compounds found in a bar of chocolate. Raccoons can become hyperactive, start vomiting, have tremors, diarrhea, develop seizures, and can even die after eating chocolate."

    Reply
  5. If you come to Wisconsin I will be willing to let you watch my toddler for a day and I won’t make you pay either like they did with the raccoon it’ll be free education

    Reply

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