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“Wait a minute, our sponges are made…”
…technically, ALL sponges are made…
If you knew the time and how you were going to die, you'd be invincible until then! Jump out of a plane without a parachute? Sure, I die in 10 years gored by bulls,I'll be just fine! 😁
Him and Mitch Hedberg. The two top dogs of one liners. Way different.
You can enjoy CANADIAN BACON (John Candy, Alan Alda, Rhea Perlman, Dan Aykroyd 1995, for more Steven Wright in a role).
Yes keep going down the Steven Wright rabbit hole there’s a great interview with him at five years ago on Craig Ferguson the comedian
The “fine line” is the fishing string. Lol. Just gonna leave that here
You always here people say stuff like "they're life was cut short right in their prime" as if that's a bad thing. If you didn't know when you were going to die, wouldn't "in your prime" be the best way? Or in your happiest stage of life? No suffering, no regrets, no sorrow, etc. sounds like the best way to me
i spilt spot remover on my dog….now hes gone
Sponges really do absorb water. And, originally, sponges were harvested from the ocean, They are all synthetic now.
The rest of the death joke is, of course : " I already know when I'm going to die, because my birth certificate has an expiration date on it… "😁
"One of my grandfathers died when he was a little boy." I've tried using that joke and nobody ever got it.
Back in the 80's I was friends with this couple, A(f) and B(m). A had a brother named Stephen.
Stephen Wright was going to perform in the area, so we were talking about it one night.
A asked B, "Have you ever seen Stephen Wright?"
B answered, "No, but I've seen him try."
Mark Normand is today’s king of one liners.
This is a funny clip of him promoting his show on New Day Cleveland.
https://youtu.be/_ZMk5UBpP5s
You can buy man-made sponges but real sponges from the ocean are best.
3:38 “Do the sponges we buy at the store come from the ocean?”
I freaking died here lol
BTW, you certainly can purchase natural sponges. One of nature's little wonders.
Awww I was waiting for my favorite Steven Wright joke. I had dog, I named him Stay, he is in therapy "Come here Stay, Come here Stay"
Britt.
If you call the power company and say you aren’t paying for what you can’t see, they turn off the power. This has helped electricity customers over the decades learn why that doesn’t work.
lol
I always heard he developed this style because his teeth were all jacked up and he was self conscious – so he never smiled or opened his mouth much to hide them. My favorite joke of his – you can’t have everything, where would you put it?
There’s two schools of thought regarding knowing how and when you’re going to die. One is that you will constantly be in fear thinking of your impending death. The other is that since you know how and when you will die that you can live in the moment of what seems like a dangerous situation but you know that you don’t die this day and you can carry on free of fear.
fishing one is my fave of him.
Oh Britt!!! I've been waiting for you to discover Steven Wright!!! Do more! 🙂
"my uncle was a weird guy… he had prosthetic arms….and real hands"
I asked my girlfriend if she ever had sex with a woman. She said no. I said you should try it it's fun. So she did, now she's gone.
You should check out Norm McDonald next. He's always hilarious.
"I lost a buttonhole"
Did you get that the reason that his girlfriend would know his time and cause of death was that she was going to be the cause ?
Another great person you should react to is James Veitch his “ Bad roommate / Ducks “ is funny
Comedians tell there jokes so many times, it becomes natural. It's when they improve is were you can see them laughing.
To answer your question, he comes from Boston MA.
He goes back to the Carlin days – I wouldnt doubt they were friends and played the same clubs together. He was extremely popular.
My favorite joke of his wasn't in this one!
I had a dream that a group of midgets were trying to assassinate me, so I bought a bullet proof car. But, since they were midgets I bought a convertible.
You questioning the sponges makes me think of Bert Kreischer! "My kid is so stupid she makes me stupid by proxy"! Then he goes into his joke about the deaf child sign!
I think my fav is. If bread always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on it's feet. What would happen if you buttered some bread and straped it to the back of a cat and droped it. 😂😂😂
Whoever made this compilation doesn't understand comedy. Steven might tell one liners, but the jokes still need their context. And more importantly, the pacing becomes much more important. The silence and the pauses is important for the jokes and for Stevens style, it's a huge part of what makes him and his jokes good. That is ruined in compilations like this.
Steven was a local guy here in the Boston area, one of my favorite comics back in the day. I still have his album "I Have A Pony". At one point in time I had every one of those bits memorized just from listening to it so much. Great comedian!!
From what I have read, Steven Wright was encouraged to do standup by his college friends, because of the random comments / observations he was always making.
Just to clarify, that fine line is fishing line.
Im giving you a suggestion none have reacteded to this one its clsssic Mr sammay davis jr MR BOJANGELS
“I lost a hundred dollar bill, so I put up a reward sign. Reward: $100; if found, just keep it.”
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
I would love to know how and when I would die, so I know whether to make long term plans or not.
Here’s his first time on national TV. ✨👌🏼✨
https://youtu.be/4GGyQNMPDkk
My favorite joke of his that wasn’t included here is “I bought some batteries the other day, but they weren’t included, so I had to buy them again”. 😆😆😂😂
you can get both natural–from the water–or man made sponges.
Seven Wright, The Guy on The Couch
Highly recommend his new book
"I called up the airline to make a reservation and the woman asked me how many would be flying. I said, how should I know, it's your plane."
You can buy natural sponges. But most are manufactured.
The ocean would be sallower.