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On Today’s Episode:
Are you choosing the history of a bad relationship, when times were good, over the pain of leaving an unhealthy relationship now? Often we make relationships about what the other person is or isn’t doing and we have the tendency to focus on our reactive emotions. What feels good and what doesn’t. The problem with this kind of relationship habit is that we give our power away. Judge Faith Jenkins has been a prosecuting attorney, a judge on Divorce Court TV, and is now hosting and producing an Oxygen True Crimes show, Killer Relationships. She is revealing the success we can have in healthy relationships when we realize our power to be happy comes from within. If you are single, Faith is highlighting all the lessons and opportunities available for you to properly prepare, learn, and plan for a successful marriage or relationship that you choose to be in. Taking some time to journal after this episode may be a great way to get started on having a better relationship now.
Check out Faith Jenkins new book, Sis Don’t Settle: How to Stay Smart in Matters of the Heart: https://amzn.to/3uCFg5R
SHOW NOTES:
Relationship Disaster | How loving relationships turn into divorce or worst [0:37]
Power to be Happy | Why your personal foundation is a must for healthy relationships [3:05]
Lessons of Single Life | Faith reveals what single life is teaching and preparing you for [7:10]
Accept, Reject, or Build | 3 options you have when taking relationship to next level [8:39]
Being Resentful | Ways to navigate conflict and reveal a person’s true character [10:39]
Normalized Hurt | Faith on why healing is your responsibility, not normalizing disrespect [15:22]
Commitment | How to know if you are committing to love and the same things together [18:44]
Manifesting Love | How Faith manifested love from knowledge and acceptance of self [19:38]
Broken Love | Faith reveals the process for staying positive for love after being broken [26:44]
Toxic Traps | Revealing how people get trapped and remain in unhealthy relationships [30:59]
Danger Zone | Examining the danger of external pressure of being single and settling [36:38]
Rejection is Okay | Faith on how rejection isn’t about you and cannot be taken personal [41:35]
Due Diligence | How counseling gave Faith peace with her decision to marry and invest [46:38]
Successful Love | Why love deserves the same planning for success as your career [49:11]
QUOTES:
“People don’t really have a lot of relationship problems […] they have problems that they bring into the relationship.” [1:27]
“Being single was not a rest stop in my life, it was time for me to really live.” [6:07]
“It is easy to treat people right when things are going well. How do people treat each other when things are not going well? That is the key and a reflection of someone’s true nature. [15:10]
“We aren’t in charge of the person who hurt us. But we are in charge of our healing.” [15:58]
“I knew I was bringing a lot to the table. And I wanted someone who was going to add to the happiness I already had.” [21:43]
“I could not be a cynic about love and attract it into my life at the same time.” [26:28]
“If you’re not careful, over time, you will internalize that messaging, and being single can start to feel like something you’re embarrassed about.” [38:07]
“When you’re single and you’re dating, you can be the total package at the wrong address.” [41:48]
“A lot of times rejection has nothing to do with you. It’s what somebody else is dealing with, and their perspective and what’s going on in their lives, but if we’re not careful, we make it a whole story about us.” [44:58]
“It was all about preparing, because I wanted to set myself up for success in my relationship, just like I did for all those other aspects of life.” [50:40]
Follow Faith Jenkins:
Website: https://judgefaithjenkins.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDCGH26MOqCfvPqBTj7JOxQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JudgeFaith
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/judgefaithjenkins/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/judgefaithtv
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Do you think some relationships deserve a second chance? Why or why not?
She still looks 25 😂❤
A lot of people are in denial of what issues they have. But God will show the red flags you have to pay attention and if you ignore the red flags then you’ll see what the outcome will be.
How she looking like she still 20!?!
Can I listen on podcast?
Love this! ❤
Her story about asking the guy on the day and his saying no hit home for me. When I was in high school I was asked to a prom by a very nice boy from a different school, I said no , because we were poor and I would not have money to buy a dress. I always regretted that, and thought even if I had to borrow a dress I should have tried. I never got to experience prom. I never told him why, I have no idea where he is now & don't even recall his name. However, I can still see the disappointment in his face when I said no. I now wish I could tell him why.
I made sure my daughter got to go to her proms both Jr and Sr.
I dont need to change this person, they are evil. I need to not have him in my life because hes a narcissistic sociopath. He hid it.
I used to care about being single, thinking something was wrong because women around me seemed to find a man anytime they turned around, but I realize I'm single because I have standards and I know my self worth. A lot of these same women I see with a man all the time, are literally with a new man all the time because the men they get with are not good men, or they stay with men who treat them horribly. Couldn't be me. Now, I'm never sad or feel bad about being single. I'll stop being single when I see someone worth being with. Until then, I'm enjoying my peace.
It’s easy to fall in love , but it takes work to stay there. 🎯
I ended listening to video in tears and while listening I’m saying to myself, wow I’m really living a life of not settling, and in the end when the title of the book was told “sis, don’t settle” I immediately bought the audiobook, this conversation was needed and put things into perspective about my love life. Thank you. 🙏🏿
Faith Jenkins,To me i think that guy who said he didn't have a suit to go the the event with you lied, I think he didn't like you at that time but when he saw you 5 years ago, he liked you.
I really enjoyed this video. Thank you Judge Faith
I would like her to sit down with Mitchell Obama about this topic!
I’m only part way through and I am too wrecked to continue this video today. Hearing things that I am guilty of, my ex was guilty of. I was never cruel to him when things ended but he held too much of the power in the relationship. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I let him. In the name of Love, I let him.
Perhaps forgiveness would come easier if he didn’t seem smug and proud of himself for how much control he had.
When she says be happy with your life before you commit to someone…I would go back and make sure I am.
She said “when I turned 40 years old” 😂 I said wha???? Girl I thought you were 23 😂😂
My first boyfriend was when I was 23… I believe he was 27. I was with him for 3 years. We dated for a year but unfortunately I had sex with him on the first date and we moved in together the second year and we lived together for 2 years. The relationship was not good. At the time I was anxious attachment and he was detached Lol. He wasn’t abusive but he neglected me and also cheated. He would meet his ex and have lunch and I “by accident” found out about this through his friends girl friend. He was also addicted to porn. I left him on my birthday at the age of 26, one day before Xmas, because he went out with his friend instead of spending the evening with me before he went to Melbourne to spend Xmas with his family. My second relationship was at 28. The guy was 31. He lied about his name and his age when we met and at the time I was in the party scene. We both met in the party scene but I told him that the party scene was not how I wanted to live my life. The guy turned out to be a covert narcissist and managed to trick me into thinking he was safe person. About 18 months into the relationship he started to change. I was fully invested and heavily attached. Many times I tried to break free but found it so difficult. He ended up a full blown drug addict, it turns out he was using me for my resources and having flings and affairs with other women. That relationship burnt me out and I ended up with a chronic illness. I left and never looked back at the age of 35. I have had no contact with that person the duration of me leaving. I have to say after my experiences that I don’t really care that I am single. I don’t feel like I am missing out on love. I truly don’t. What I do get upset about though is that I sold myself out and allowed men to treat me bad. I find it hard to forgive myself some days and I kick myself that I invested the years of my youth into 2 clown arses Lol. 5 months after my break up I met a man. He did not waste time trying to put me in the gutter. He also was a narcissist but different. This guy wanted me to know he was not a nice man. He didn’t try to hide his narcissism. Whenever I would pull away he would chase. This happened 5 times within the 3 months he was in and out of ny life. I new how I wanted to feel and be treated with and by a man. After my ex I told myself I will never let a man disrespect me ever again! I walked away from the 3 month guy and he tried to come back after 10 weeks. I shut him down. You definitely get stronger after abuse. Well atleast I did. But I now have resentment and bitterness towards men, and even women. I don’t know what it’s like to be treated with love and respect. I don’t know what it’s like to be treated like a princess or a queen. I don’t believe I ever will. But I have built a backbone and know I can overcome anything. I also know that Jesus loves me. And that’s all that matters as I get closer to 40
Society condemns single women.
She left it too late for children. It’s a biological problem for women.
Being single is not a rest stop😮yess sis. What’s the name of her book?
👏👏👏💞💯
i love this channel, I love Lisa's authenticity and her interviewing style…
but the way the camera pans slowly with the bulls-eye back drop makes me feel seasick