I was going to write an article this morning about employer branding, recruitment marketing or something along those lines. However, I had a brief moment of reflection, just thinking about my life and how far I have come….my experiences, my past failures, the lessons learned from my mistakes, and what I could do better.
Well, while I can’t go back to the past to change whatever mistakes I’ve made, I can only write this article in the hopes that it will change the lives of those reading it now and also serve as a reference or guiding compass for the future me.
So, here’s a letter to the younger me:
Dear younger me,
Believe it or not, I hope you never lose sight of the fact that you have a lot to learn. Sure, you’ve made mistakes in the past and some might be haunting you till now. However, deliberating on what you could have done better in the past isn’t going to change the past. What you can do is to control how you want your future to look like.
Focus more on how you want to be better. Learning never stops, it’s a life-long university. Remember that people are in your life for various reasons and for different seasons; and if you are lucky to have people who stay in your life forever, they are a keeper. Never let them go!
Loyal people are hard to find and when you have someone loyal in your corner, keep them!
Be unapologetically you. Life is a song. I view it as an opera or a rendition. Belt out your own version of what life is, and do it with pride. Sing it without fear and with laughter on your lips. Don’t be afraid to learn from others: use your voice for good, follow your dreams, learn to let go of the burdens or weight on your shoulders, seek therapy, see the world, always love yourself first and most importantly, live life, love life and enjoy life.
Your life isn’t perfect at the moment and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to have your life look like broken pieces. It’s also okay to mould those broken pieces back when YOU ARE READY.
I know you want a semblance of perfection in your life at the moment and I know that you might not want to hear it now, but you will get there sooner or later. I hope that these lessons you write to yourself become a part of you and help you on the journey to living a more fulfilling and successful life. Because, girl, you deserve all the best that life has to offer.
I might not tell you this a lot, but I’m proud of ya! You rock!
With all of my love for you,
The older, ever-becoming wiser me.
20 LIFE LESSONS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE
1. It’s okay to ask for help. I was scrolling through Instagram last week and I saw a post saying, “I’m not a princess. I don’t need saving. I’m a queen. I got the shit handled!” The younger me would have nodded my head in agreement and raved about why I don’t need saving. The older me realizes that everybody needs saving, no matter how little.
It’s one of the reasons why no man is an island. It’s why we form alliances, partnerships, and relationships with people. It’s also one of the reasons why we marry. Because sooner or later, we will all need help. Posts like this make me tired of the toxic positivity comments and quotes shared on the internet.
It begs to ask: Why are you surrounded by people who love you or why have access to a network of people who can help if you don’t ask for help? What’s the essence of your relationship if you don’t think these folks can save or rescue you when you hit a snafu?
2. It’s not selfish to put yourself first. My whole life, I have been afraid of being labelled as selfish. Anytime I wanted to put myself first, I always felt that people would think of me as a bad person and all of the negative connotations that go with putting yourself first.
Because of this, I put everyone else’s needs before my own. However, I’m at a stage where I have realized that if you don’t put yourself first, you aren’t living life at all. Selflessness isn’t about running yourself into the ground just to make sure that everybody around you is okay.
In fact, I believe that selflessness means putting your own needs first before you try to meet the needs of others in your life. If you die today, people will move on despite what you’ve done for them. No one will follow you to the grave. So, why not put yourself first for a change?
3. No one is entitled to love you. Absolutely NO ONE!!! This is a bitter pill I had to swallow and an honest-to-God lesson I had to learn about myself. I came from a background that had little to no love. I was always envious when people recounted happy childhood experiences. My mum died when I was young and my dad remarried.
As y’all are familiar with the tale of Cinderella and her wicked stepmother and two sisters, mine didn’t have a happy ending because no prince came to propose to me with glass slippers, sweep me off my feet to his castle where I became royalty and lived happily ever after ruling over our subjects.
My life experiences made me always cry about how life was unfair and how I’ve
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