Diving into the official Cox family stories about the death of Laura Lee Cox, Alex Cox’s baby sister who died before Lori Vallow was born.
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About the Host:
Megan Conner is the mother of 6 spectacular humans and a breaker of generational trauma cycles. She has spent the last 10 years overcoming the effects of child SA and other abusive relationships and cycles. She is the author of I Walked Through Fire to Get Here, which was written to give support and hope to other survivors. Megan is passionate about helping people make small changes that make their lives better every day.
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What does it say on her Death Certificate because a Dr has to sign off on it??
Lori may have been raised after this death of her sister with too much coddling and as a result became a narcissist. This was the case of my husband who was raised by two strong willed women and left him expecting women to wait on him, even calling me ma.
Replay crew. Prayers for the soul of Baby Lolly. I remember our next door neighbors lost a baby to SIDS. I almost wonder if that experience lead to some of my half-sister's mental Health issues. I remember being told she would babysit all the time. I was around 7 when this happened so I don't have much recall of the experience.
It would be hard to believe that if you had anything published by Reader’s Digest that you wouldn’t have kept a copy.
Re Reader’s Digest story: we’re in our seventies now, and always had RD in our home growing up. This is Souther Africa! Our dad also was convinced he was going to win the lottery, and we always had hope that we would have all the things my dad told us we’d have! They’d send out all these real/fake cheques that were so exciting to look at! Thanks for the trip back in time.
Honestly, the inability to admit mistakes is my husband. It doesn’t matter if it’s small or the most obvious he has rarely apologized during the course of our relationship where I have always owned everything instead of talking about it or dealing with it all he can say is I move forward and not backwards, which I know is just, a way to avoid having the conversation and him admitting his fault
Sometimes magazines change names and places in stories.
We need more Megan’s in this world 💕 Thank you
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my 50's, knowing it for way longer. I FOUGHT THRU NARROW MINDED DRS WHO SEEMED DESPERATE FOR A BIPOLAR DIAGNOSIS. It was as if BiPolar was the "In" thing (it was a younger Psychiatrist) and thankfully had another Dr intervene, as all BiPolar meds do is Zonk you out so you can't function at all (given you don't need them). I too have trouble staying on task, narrowing down my tasks and choosing which to prioritize. Glad to hear from others.
As a little girl dirt poor I would show my mom toys I wanted from the sears catalog and my mom would say- yeah sure when I get rich , but as a child I really thought that was gonna happen and it brought some comfort in my otherwise miserable childhood .
I was born in that hospital and lived in San Bernardino until 72 or 73. I heard a man from Great Britain say that in England, Lolly is another word for cash or money.
I have a fried that's brother in law rolled over smotheting the baby to death and it was ruled sids although it was mo secret within the family the father was the unintentional cause .
Yes. Ma’am. I want to shout your message from the rooftops. I would also like to add something to your message (which i think you implied):
Many women aren’t choosing between career or family. Some are just trying to keep our heads above water. My chosen career was speech pathology, but i was diagnosed with narcolepsy without cataplexy (excessive daytime sleepiness). My docs told me to drop out of grad school (i was struggling anyway), get a 9-5 job, and hope for a cure.
I moved to my hometown and worked as a news reporter for a few years, until i decided to go to aesthetician school. I have been an aesthetician for 10 years, and it is a huge struggle to work a full time job and have a full life. I am so grateful my health issues are treatable, and not more debilitating than they are.
I am terrified to be a mom, as it is so difficult just to get through a day taking care of myself. My “career” doesn’t pay very much, despite how hard I work.
I have not chosen between a career or motherhood. I’m just doing the best i can to keep my head above water. I am proud of the fact that i can maintain a full-time job. Relationships are difficult to manage as i never have enough energy. I’m grateful for the friends and loved ones who understand my challenges, as my health issues are “invisible”.
Thank you for giving us permission to give ourselves grace, Megan.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability to us (strangers) I’m here to listen to your chat. I’m a recovering addict, and I beat myself up for years. I’m 5 years clean and full of life now. I can go on and on but I’m not…lol! Thank you for sharing! I love your channel..keep up the good work…🙂
At 1:15 you talked about having it all. As a parent who believed my sacrifice to homeschool my children wd one day be appreciated by them it was good to hear your healing words.
We went without, I made choices and it's time for me to forgive myself for putting us thru that hardship.
What is really helpful for me in your talks is that you examine patterns that exist in dysfunctional families. It is funny how after I went no contact, I was more able to clearly examine my own dysfunctional patterns and the patterns that I see in my family. I am so thankful to be on this journey with you and these other beautiful humans.
Goodness Barry and Janice lost children on their lives. Makes you wonder not living right. My mormon Grandparents outlived all their children.
Vital check has her death certificate available for about 35.00
Good God, Megan! I can not watch your videos all at once. Each one hits me like a spear through my heart. But in a good way. In the best way. Don't worry about making me bad. You just put in words everything I have ever felt in my hole life. I am a solo mother. My son's father was abusive, but I got through. By my own. Because my family has the exact dinamic as you describe in your. And we are all Brazilian, we are all catholic, and we all come from different "financial" backgrounds. And it seems that the more "stable" they are, the worse and more toxic they are. They seem to have forgotten where they came from and the "evil deeds" they have to comit to be where they are. And then they treat the others even worse because we are not able to go the lenghts they have. How come both of us can come from such differente backgrounds and still have lived practicly the same things? I am also the "Megan" of my family and groups of friends. Always refused to get into their lies. And for that I payed such a huge toll! But now I am proud of the place I am. I don't even know what I am saying here. But I am SO THANKFUL for having found you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Belive me, when you feel you are alone, because you are being on those "shunt" moments people tend to do with people like us, to try controling us and putting us back on their paths, just know that in the other side of the globe you have someone that is praying for you. That admires you. You have become so important to me… Honestly! I am going to transcribe and translate much of your videos and send to some people. They pretend they don't understand what I am saying, but they do. Deep down, they do. Thank you for existing Megan!!!!!
It seems the official family stories coming from the Cox family are whatever works for them at the moment. It doesn't have to be the truth.
We can determine how a mummy died 1000 years ago but can't determine how a baby died the night prior????? Ya right 🙄 This is because telling us the cause of sids would cost our government a fortune. Many of us know what caused our children to pass.
??? How old was Alex when Lolly was born? It's strange they used another form of the name for Lori. If someone had anything to do with the baby passing then another came along with the same-ish name that same someone may have some deep guilt and feel they now need to protect that person.
I could listen to you and your stories for hours…..thank you for sharing
As a “ truth teller” in my huge family system has made me the scapegoat many times. I have two ways to get through this : 1) one time I was told I did something unconscionable, I said to my family I had done nothing ever unconscionable. This was a way to avoid owning this label; 2. To pass on by when someone brings drama to my door and most likely make me angry, I pass on by. To This day I have no idea what I was being accused of.
My husband is also “time blind.” It drives me crazy at times but I was helped in reframing by reading whst Michelle Obama wrote about her husband. “Barack is wonderfully optimistic about time.” Reframing is such a great tool!
Barry and Janice lived a life of deceit and not full truth and psychologically these things seeped into Laurie's psyche along with her raised as the golden princess and this resulted in the Laurie murdering her children and her sitting in an Idaho prison.
My grandmother wrote an response to Readers Digest about coal miners. It was returned to her. Not published.
Love your advice!!!
Have you ever seen her death certificate.?
My understanding that when someone dies at home, goes to hospital for resus, they'll call the death at hospital. Partly to protect family, partly due to officially calling death.
I have a second, more like a sister, pass away at Loma Linda hospital as well. And I few family members buried at that same cemetery Montecito. 😔
Yes – Reader's Digest – loved this growing up and read it from cover to cover. Great memories Meghan 🇬🇧
I remember Readers Digest for sure.
After reading John Bradshaw's book on family systems in my mid 30's (40 years ago), I contacted my mother to do a "family systems" tree. I was shocked to learn how many of my family secrets were never discussed. It was not unusual back then for families to be very private and not discuss problems. In my case, I learned about a family history of alcoholism, suicide, depression, cut off – and we were a typical family! The fact that the Cox family didn't disclose anything doesn't surprise me. It keeps the family functioning when life's trials overwhelm us. If everyone on the outside knew the struggles we went through as a family, it would be heart breaking. It was important then to "save face" on the outside in order to struggle with pain on the inside.
Is there any question as far as whether or not she did die? As I'm listening and a heart defect was mentioned it makes me wonder if Down Syndrome could have been possible as that can be accompanied by heart defects. Is there physical prove of an autopsy or an official death certificate? It's possible as it was very common for children with disabilities such as Downs for families to be forced to institutionalize there children and forget they existed. In such case the family may have written an obit to make it seem like she had died but she was just disappeared in a way.
Agree Megan about self awareness. I reacted in a family situation and not the best way. And well I did know after time passed that I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and I did talk to my sister a little bit during of family crisis of mine with my son. Well, I tried to tell her where I was coming from. I did apologize, but they never took responsibility. Her family never took ownership in what they did so I kind of had to wash my hands of it and I'm not angry. I wish I would not have reacted the way I did but it had come to a point where it hit the height of I just lost it. But they never admitted their part which is why I lost it so i cleaned my side of the street so to speak and shook the dust from my shoes.
You are a sweet soul, I like YouTube channel.
I loved this message Megan! Thank you ❤
For their first couple of months babies can only breath through their nose. It stands to reason that if their sinusses are congested they might actually die from lack of oxygen if there is no intervention.
Could SIDS be sleep apnea even for babies?
Excellent video Megan. Thank you. Very interesting!
Readers Digest was a big thing back then. Anyone my age, 50 or about, all knew about it.
I want you to know I’ve learned so much. You are a natural teacher. Thank you. I loved readers digest too!
Thanks!
How is the job huntimg going for you. You seem pretty busy as it is.
Its a little thing , but i count in my head to 10 before i rush to answer an uncomfortable question especially when feeling angry. I work on it everyvday.
Thank you for sharing your life! I came to your page for all things Vallow, Daybell, and what you are sharing I can so relate! Everything you are sharing is so on point, and I have done so much work to be healthy emotionally, and this information needs to be spoken! I will continue to come to your page for this honest information and ways of healing. This is super important info to help others! Keep up the good work!
Wow! I came to the podcast to hear about Baby Lolly’s death but left with some great life coaching. I felt like I’d been to therapy & gained great insights & motivation! Thank you for that! That’s incredible. I can’t wait to listen to more of your podcasts!
I loved Reader's Digest. My parents subscribed. I read it voraciously. But that one is from the year I was 4. I could read then, but I wasn't Reader's Digest ready.