An RNG Made Me Review JCB Pioneer: Mars



My ChatGPT A.I. pal has decided that I will review JCB PIONEER: MARS, a Mars colonizing game and the evil version of No Man’s Sky for PlayStation 4, Xbox Series X/S, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and PC.

Played with Phil Metal Jacket: https://https://www.twitch.tv/phil_metal_jacket

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25 thoughts on “An RNG Made Me Review JCB Pioneer: Mars”

  1. This is exactly the kind of game that could've fooled me into buying it and playing. Thanks for the warning. I appreciate it. And I salute you for your sercive to our society as a whole for warning us. This game sounds like it's hot garbage.

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  2. I will be honest, this game doesn't look as a bad game, but it sadly is. It just unfortunately doesn't have better gameplay, any goal, and more dangerous hazards. If they improved current mechanics and added more fun stuff I could see myself playing it. Too bad.

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  3. Lmao the last sentence of the review section was absolutely brutal.

    In high-school, a teacher put dozens of cigarettes and water in a blender, and mixed it all up. She asked us to smell the thing. The first person smelled it and made a disgusted face. You'd think the second person would refuse – the teacher said they could – but nope, they smelled it too, and again, made a face as if they just smelled Satan's anus. This went on and on and every single person smelled that foul concoction. I was the 20th in the line or something, and I'm proud to say I smelled it as well like the jackass I am. It smelled like hot garbage, obviously. But I just had this weird morbid curiosity to see it for myself.

    All of this to say, your review made me weirdly interested in playing the game. Wouldn't buy it, but if it was on Ps extra, I would definitely try it out hahaha

    Cheers man, excellent video as always!

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  4. RGR I just want you to know that your videos always bring me joy, even when you suffer through hot garbage for the benefit of humanity. May every game in your future be better than JCB Pioneer: Mars.

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  5. Yikes, you weren’t kidding about the overwhelming number of upgrades and stats – I’m having an anxiety attack just watching the review. And maybe the further in you get the planets look less like absolute flaming trash? Maybe? Maybe? Because Google searching images for this all I see is the same red hot garbage.

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