A first contact…
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/SwissChocolatess
Original Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xrsig6/humanitys_violent_entry_into_the_galactic/
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Fighting humanity is like seeing a group of people fighting one another, and you throw a rock into the group, and suddenly all eyes turn towards you and your realize the group is a family, and sure they were just beating each other up, but that’s because they are family and they can do that, you however can’t
"… such as their use of ancient animal bones for fuel …"
There's actually no such thing as 'fossil fuels', the concept has been proven false – crude oil was created from the geological maceration of mega-flora, not mega-fauna.
Do not mistake being 'harmless' for being 'peaceful', for only those capable of violence can be called 'peaceful'.
You are not actually a very good narrator, I can hear you fine, but you never really speak very clearly.
Never poke the murder monkey should be on a t-shirt
It's the Hom'va's fault. They went to the village and kicked a chicken so the murder monkeys lost their shit. Doesn't matter how much humanity fights itself. Kick a chicken and the whole village comes after you as attested in the numerous racial documentaries such as 'Skyrim'.
"I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I'll kill you all."
An excellent story of "Don't start nun, if you don't want some"
Peace mongers, unless you poke them with a stick.
Better to be a warrior in the garden than a gardener in a war
A good example of humans constantly fighting each other was the Greeks, when the Persians came they United to kick them out.
Erased all knowledge of how to make nukes? I call BS. Nobody gives up their most effective weapon, especially after being attacked by a genocidal enemy.
Me against my brother. Both of us against our cousins. All of us against the galaxy.
Best way to explain FAFO
Usa usa
I need to clean my eyes with bleach after suffering this awful fanfiction made by a fat soy poisoned basement dweller.
"ancient animal bones for fuel"… Apparently we teach science very poorly. Petroleum come primarily (almost entirely) from plants.
Sorry. Pet peeve.
Good story, but story Fusion weapon tech is early 1950s tech… just not that hard to create and impossible to unmake
The "Galactic Community" of these stories probably wrote off the entire orion spur as barren wasteland
Never give humanity a reason to go to war, we have lived through war for many generations and know the best way to conduct it.
i love these so much
An interesting story but full of moments that take you out of it, especially when "the United States" gets dropped that was an eyeroll 🙄. At least it didn't include lots of unnecessary "we're so badass" use of swear words in professional settings. A lot of these stories can get too caught up using fuck to make the story seem more badass when really it's just cringe.
OMFG 🙄
This story was pretty good right up until "Against all odds, America brought peace and democracy to the stars 🎉"
😐😐😐
The thing with nukes, they aren't very advanced. If you got the resources, are good at math and know basic physics, you can make one.
I couldn't help but snort at the parochial reference to the US Space Force as the grand, all-powerful destroyer of mighty alien warmongers.
Sir we got that human outpost good, we even sunk 5 of there battleships in there Docks, They never have a chance
How anyone could invent faster than light travel before inventing the atom bomb baffles me, considering how obvious the idea is of replicating the power of the stars, and how simple fission bombs are. Other than than, this was a good read indeed.
Galaxy peeps: Have faster-than-light space travel and ships the size of cities
Also galaxy peeps: "lol what are nukes?"
Fossil fuel was an invented term used to propagate the idea of scarcity. Oil has Never come from dead dinosaurs. Oil comes directly out of the Earth from the Elemental soup, Found under the crust. It's also not going to run out, As the earth is constantly making more.
Do you guys honestly believe oil comes from dinosaur bones and dinosaurs? Seriously?
The big thing that stands out to me as being a bit of a stretch is the erasure of even the concepts of a nuke. If scientists during WW2 could and were working it out then, I find it hard to believe that centuries of advancement and jumps in power production could ever eliminate it as a concept not just from human understanding but that xeno sciences wouldn't know about it ether.
"Nuclear weapons were deleted from all records and internet so no one knows how to make them"
Yeah, this is the most unreal part of this.
If the aliens want peace, there will be peace. If the humans want war, there won't be any aliens.
I laughed so hard when I realized (around when the hom'va sent the first fleet) how humanity took the hom'va out
God bless THE UNMATCHED POWER OF THE S U N
Emperor of Mankind would not aprove joining to galatic xeno comunity
Never push the pink-skins to the thin ice.
Stories like this justify the annihilation of humanity, and people think this is awesome?
You could make the argument that several races had different ways of discovering energy generation depending on the resources of their home planet and the traits of their species.
If a alien species perceives reality through telepathy rather than the refraction of light to your optical nerves, you will see the world in a different manner and be able to identify different uses for things.
Some might have skipped nuclear technology because they found a more efficient method for their respective environments. Other cases could be that the Galactic community gave them technology such as singularity or anti-matter reactors, etc.
It’s still strange that no other race in the galaxy discovers the energy and use it as a weapon, but still you can work around the origin stories of each alien to make that sense.
I feel like humanity in HFY can be categorized in one of two ways:
Firstly:
*Planet is borderline inhospitable volcanic hellscape.
Humanity: colonize spicy planet.
Secondly:
*Alien attacks humanity
Humanity: So you have chosen- DEATH!
Never poke the creatures who were born to make weapons as it shall never end well
You forgot the part we’re we took their space oil
THIS is the story i've been wanting, seriusly how on earth (space?) are you supposed to shield against a nuke?? i need a movie about aliens getting a little too close to ICBM range and getting absolutely bodied
"Turn back now" – humanity
You can be "peaceful" only if you're capable of great violence.
Otherwise, you are "harmless".
Humans are too good at war to ever stop warring.
We domesticated the silk moth 5000 years ago for sericulture. They lost their ability to fly, lack fear of predators, & have lost native color pigments since camouflage is not useful as they only live in captivity. They're entirely dependent on humans for survival, including finding a mate.
When species can enslave an entire other species to the point of altering everything they were and everything they were meant to become, you don't want to mess with them.