Full Episode:
Jason Evert and Matt Fradd talk about how dating couples can set a standard of Chastity and purity that is not dependent on the debaucherous world around them.
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Your chastity is something to cherish!â€ïž Amen. I hope you find the right husband or wife. đđŒđ
This is not good or helpful. Someone asking this question doesn't know how exactly God would have them treat someone they were courting. The type of person who asks this question cares enough about their chastity to not be simply trying to see how far they can get. Telling them to just pray and think of the saints is super unhelpful.
You can start holding hands on your honeymoon.
I was advised that if I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone what my boyfriend and i have done, thats too far. We've been married 14 years and its advice I plan on telling my kids.
Love Jason Evert but this isnât helpful. We arenât trying to toe the line or break boundaries. Weâre asking bc the boundaries are very ambiguous, and when they arenât clear, we could run into trouble. Weâre trying to avoid sin, not push the limits. Everywhere I look for church teaching on this, I end up disappointed because nobody can give a definitive answer, and I donât know if thoughts, wants or actions are wrong or not. It drives me nuts, and Iâm sure other young Catholics feel the same way.
Instead of using Mary and Joseph as an example, why not just consult the words of Jesus?
this sort of ambiguity is how the devil gets couples to kiss before marriage.
Tradition supports the hypothesis that Joseph was an older man when he married Mary. This helps explain why the Gospels do not mention him after Jesus' boyhood. He'd already died. If this tradition is right, then Joseph was not a college age kid.
This is great information and a great mindset/practice but a terrible answer to the question that was actually being asked.
deep
I heard a sermon connecting this to 1 Thessalonians 4:6 – "that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter". So the question I asked myself is: what part of my future wife's body currently belongs to me? To me, the answer was clearly none. Looking at it from this perspective gave me a healthy fear and helped me to recognize that I was protecting a daughter of God and our future relationship. As a result, our first kiss was on our wedding day after five years of dating/engagement during college. I'm incredibly thankful for the grace to make and keep that decision. It may not look the same for every couple, but we are wise to protect our spouses from our own desires. Correspondingly, I think this applies within marriage as well – lust can very easily masquerade as a desire for intimacy.
it makes my heart warm each time i see you upload honey
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
"Moral Theology" by Jone, book is very clear on this subject. Any action done in order to arouse a desire for sex with someone that you are not married to is a grave/mortal sin.
Wasn't Joseph in at least his late 30s/early 40s?
This is something Im still contemplating and trying to get right. What ive learned in my experience is that physical intimacy and affection tends to escalate. This is true in the slow and steady sense but also in the momentary sense. When you have the desire to advance to another level you need to ask yourself a question. Am I seeking pleasure or communicating affection? When putting it in these terms its a bit more clear. A loving embrace or a kiss are a far cry from groping and the such. "You dont have to worry about your purity because im going to defend it" I love that. I couldnt say it better myself.
Some practical things ive learned:
Dating isnt a test marriage, Its about carefully finding the person you give everything to. This is about more than physical intimacy though.
Slow down, Its not a race. If you feel things are getting too hot and heavy just take a break. Its a good opportunity to talk to each other.
Dont lie down. I dont know why but just easier to get carried away that way.
Australia? đŠđș
Hey Matt! I think you should reach out to Deacon Ralph Poyo to come on your podcast. I'm going to keep commenting this in the hopes that you see it and have him on. đ You have a big audience! I don't want my comment to get lost.
I spent time with Deacon Ralph recently. He travels all over the country to do what God called him to do. I was so drawn to him, his story, and how he talks about God. Like you, he is a massive advocate against pornography. That's actually a part of his testimony. He has a way of speaking that will reach out to all age groups. Especially younger people. He certainly drew me in. I can see how much he loves God. To me, it shows in a more spiritual way through the intensity behind his eyes…. but it also shows in another way. He is a small man, so he refers to himself as the Hobbit Deacon… but his love for God makes him appear bigger than he is. đ
I'm leaving this comment in the hopes that, maybe, it'll get him on the Podcast. I support his mission and would like more people to know who his is and listen to the message God gives him. So how can more people listen to him? Well, in the modern age, that's through the medias. What better media than Pints With Aquinas? đ
Why do I wanna cry, where are man like this in real life? All I get is church bros who knows two verses in the bible
If Mary and Joseph never consummated their marriage, how is Joseph the person to look at as an example for any marriage? I dont get it. This is also confusing when other Catholic apologists go on about how Joseph could have done it at any time and it would have been fine.
Wasnât Joseph an old man actually?
For me, it was really the women that pushed things
You can have rules, but temptation is strong. My advice is to just not be alone in private. You're less likely to go too far on a park bench or in a restaurant. You don't need to be alone in your apartment or parked somewhere dark at night to have private conversations about the future.
Kissing and Cuddling. Thatâs it đ
Thank you for answering my question Jason!
St Joseph wouldnât have let his kids date people. This is ridiculous. You follow a religion that comes out of the east in reality where traditionally boys and girls didnât DATE. Thatâs part of western culture. God liked it better when a boy had to approach a girls family before even thinking about talking to her. I know this because my culture is from the east and this is how we did things until the internet blew the doors open. Boys and girls dating while full of hormones is a recipe for disaster. A man who watches his daughter bringing boyfriends home would have no honor in St Josephâs day, so let that sink in however you want it, itâs the truth. In todayâs twisted world, teach your Daughters to have respect for themselves and especially as a father have a good relationship with them and ask them to honor their family by being a lady. Teach your sons to respect women and not objectify them like the current culture does and to honor their own mother and sisters by being a gentleman. We think we live in a more free world but in reality we are still slaves to sin, honor and respect are gone and we need to bring those things back.
Joseph the Terror of Demons? Never heard that one before, but I like it! XD
If she gave it to other dudes but not to you, you are in the friendzone, period point blank. Essentially you have been retroactively cucked.
Hereâs an answer I think is good. Only pecks to the cheek if engaged. Never lay down with your girlfriend or boyfriend or fiancĂ©e. Small hugs only (unless it arouses). Hand holding is allowed (unless it arouses).
I just think, âwhat is the most pious thought on a subject?â
When you think of Mary and Joseph in their piety and simplicity, would this not have been their parameters?
Would they have been macking on the lips as an engaged couple (or whatever the equivalent was)? Would they be lying down beside one another before marriage as if they were already a married couple? Would they be embracing romantically (not small hugging) before marriage? And would they be holding hands before marriage (I would say they would have, even if just to greet one another or to show her around the workshop etc).
Imagine your future spouse is currently dating somebody. Whatever you wouldnât want them to do in their relationship is a good guide
kissing before marriage is sin